When I moved out to the bay and was making ~85k a year at a startup I definitely lived like the person I responded to, except I paid for my own meals. Drive to local vacations, excess money went right into student loans and, after those were paid off, stocks.
The difference in opinion is derived, I think, from how I reacted when I got a big tech job. My earnings went way up relative to that first job, but initially my lifestyle didn't change at all. Eventually I started adding things little by little, thoughtfully I think. I took my first international trips, didn't dismiss hobbies outright because of cost - it made me a lot happier because I was experiencing things for the first time. That doesn't mean I stopped backpacking, drinking beer in the park, or going to cheap concerts - it was additive. At the end of the day, though, my lifestyle increased only by a small portion of how my earnings were. All things considered, my savings rate didn't really change by all that much.
There are some people who do really, really well trying to minimize their yearly spend, but there are a lot of people who could give themselves a little bit more slack and be better off mentally and physically for it. It isn't that they're not working hard. For me, it was just growing with working class parents - I never learned to ski, we drove instead of flew to visit family, video games were birthday presents. Relaxing some of the frugality was part of being thoughtful about who I actually was and wanted to be, and I think that's ok.