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Comment by tanilama | Hacker News Reader

I agree.

I don't like what the title tries to suggest that living with your parents is something wrong/abnormal?

Why is that? I understand for many it is not a choice, but it doesn't necessarily meaning people are suffering as a result.

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Though I agree that it's not wrong or abnormal (at least for most of the world), in this context it represents a pretty large economic step backwards. There was a time in most middle aged people's memories where starting a career, affording a house and starting a family were all realistic goals in your twenties. Now that's not possible for many, even as economic indicators like GPD, the stock market, inflation, etc. improve. This statistic simply reflects a growing income inequality and corresponding quality of life decrease.

I doubt think this has been true for most of history. Rather usually one lived and worked the farm with the family. Then it got subdivided as more children survived childhood, at least until the birth rate declined.

There has been golden eras, usually from expansion or industrialization where youths could acquire their own places relatively young. But it doesn't scale forever.

I don't think it is about it being wrong (though it is abnormal in the US context), it is the reason for this shift that is worrying.

Is there any reason to believe this is due to a cultural shift amongst Americans? I don't believe it is controversial that the young have been the most negatively impacted by rising education and housing costs, as well as their demographic being the most heavily impacted by the Covid-19 pandemic. (is it?)

The implication here is that more young adults are staying at home, not because they want to, but rather because they cannot afford to leave (or in some cases, as the article mentions, because it is better than being isolated at home alone). I hope you agree that this is an important distinction.

The American status quo is based on around individual independence and for better or for worse anything that moves away from that is considered a regression.

Well - it's abnormal in that it is not what the US's coming-of-age systems look like. Hit 18, move out, get a job. Whether that is good or bad or right or wrong is irrelevant, it's definitely abnormal from a cultural standpoint.

Yeah, there's definitely a cultural aspect. People WANT to get out of the house ASAP. It's not like all of those American 18 year olds are bummed that their parents expect them to go someplace, it's that many/most of them are chomping at the bit to have their own place and their own life with day-to-day financial and social independence from their family. If they're more likely to be staying home now, it's a sign of financial trouble because presumably most of them would love to go someplace else but can't.

To the degree that there's a stigma associated with adults living with their parents in the US, the stigma comes more from being the sort of person who would want to live with their parents when they could afford to be on their own. That's the stigma. It's not a stigma about poverty, it's a stigma about someone who would want a more sheltered and less independent life, and a stigma about someone who wouldn't get seriously annoyed at having their family around 24/7. Those are both pretty alien concepts to a lot of people in the US. There's also the rule of thumb that the #1 way to keep a family together and loving each other and constructively involved in each other's lives is to not see each other every day. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that.

But like you said, this is independent of it being good or bad or right or wrong, it's really just cultural context, but that's the cultural context.

Agreed. I wish that the stigma would go away, but not because of mass financial instability. I wish it was just more of a culturally acceptable thing to do - it'd be easier to start a life at ~25 or so after a few years of working and creating somewhat of a nestegg.

I would like to add to this that it's definitely not unique to the US. Growing up in Eastern Europe the attitudes of young people around me were very similar - you want to get out of the house ASAP. The age threshold would be somewhat higher (maybe mid-20s instead of 18), but overall trying to become independent and self-reliant was considered a virtue.

in the US, living with your parents after high school implies you need their support financially when you're old enough to have a job of your own.

Usually any mention of living with your parents implies being lazy ( the whole "neckbeard living in their parent's basement" stereotype ) unless you qualify it with "but I pay rent". If you pay rent then it appears more like you can support yourself and still not relying on mom/dad to pay your way even in adulthood.

> The majority of 18- to 29-year-olds in the US are now living with their parents

The title doesn't suggest anything, it just states an objective fact.

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