Ask HN: how can I practice negotiation? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: how can I practice negotiation?

24 pointsStuk34 comments

With all this talk about negotiating salaries and benefits I've realised that I could do with some practice.

How would you recommend getting some negotiating experience? Additionally, are there any books you would recommend?

Practice by negotiating every day on small things. Someone wants to schedule a meeting at 3? Push for another time. Buying new tires for your car? Ask for a discount, say you won't pay more than X.

That's how I've improved my negotiating skills. Start small, build confidence, learn how to deal with hearing 'No'. Everything is negotiable.

Part of negotiating is making tradeoffs... give something, and get what you want in return.

For example, if you and someone else are going to lunch and want to go to different places, offer to buy them dessert or something to go to the place you want. They get something, you get something.

Just being pushy can backfire - you might get what you want initially, but the social problems it may create might have negative results.

Great advice. People who negotiate for the sake of negotiating, without that give are highly annoying and soon will get themselves on the "avoid" list.

Go buy a car. Go buy a lot of cars. Go buy a car while pretending to be broke. Go buy another one while thinking you've got a million in cash in the bank. Buy a used car. Buy a new car. (I don't feel bad about consuming car salespeople's time...)

Go to a market in Italy and try to buy anything without haggling. They can negotiate the price of a $10 necklace.

Go to a flea market and find something you want. Try to get a lower price.

I was going to suggest going to a car lot and offering a price of -%15 of asking price provided the vehicle is between $30,000 - $50,000.

However, an offer although verbal, is legally binding, and should the sales person accept the offer... trouble can arise.

This is completely false. The value of a verbal contract cannot exceed $500.

The sales person may try to pressure you into going through with the deal by telling you the contract is binding, but no court in the world would make you pay ~30k for a car just based on you saying you wanted it.

Seconded. When we go on cruises, my wife spends more time haggling over a ring than we've ever done on a house or a car.

"Go to a market in Italy and try to buy anything without haggling. They can negotiate the price of a $10 necklace."

Maybe this happens to tourists but it is definetely not the rule for locals.

I negotiate deals pretty much every day. Here is the best book I ever read on negotiation http://amzn.to/ggXkLl

For me, the key to negotiation is to try to get to a fair deal for everyone, not a deal in which someone wins and someone loses. Ask everyone involved what they want out of the deal, what they think would be a fair outcome. Where there is a gap between what the parties want, ask each party how far they are willing to move.

Don't do deals that are unbalanced or unfair because the deal falls apart a bit further down the track leaving people feeling annoyed, angry, let down, ripped off.

Remember if the parties are too far apart on what they want then probably there is no deal to be done. Just let it go - no deal, move on and do business somewhere else.

Get married

Not as idle a comment as it would seem. In a marriage, the stakes are high, the "opponent" is someone you know well, and the difficulty can increase faster than in the "outside" world where civility is still maintained even when upset. The pay-offs are also much greater when you succeed.

Alternatively, negotiate with family members.

Might be a bit off the wall, but playing strategy games has helped my negotiation skills fairly substantially. Anything where you sit down and hammer out alliances/agreements with other players, so Diplomacy (both face-to-face and online), Settlers (face-to-face; online tends to be a bit boring) and other more hard core ones like Olympia and Atlantis.

Alternatively, head down to your local markets around closing time :)

I don't think that's an off the wall idea but I haven't felt my negotiation skills improved from that. With games, there is less on the line so I'm more inclined to push back as well as have far less hesitation to walk away from a deal.

Depends on the game, how seriously you take it and how seriously the other players take it. Some of the play by email games that I've played in run for more than 12 months (with weekly turns), and the negotiations over borders, terms and conditions put the Cold War to shame.

If you can get some people to play with you, both Northwestern University (through the Dispute Resolution Research Center), and Harvard (through their HBR cases) have negotiation scenario games that teach specific, learnable skills. Totally worth the effort, but it'll cost you to buy the cases. Both use those tools in teaching MBA negotiation classes.

If you're looking for a book on the subject, try: http://www.amazon.com/You-Negotiate-Anything-Herb-Cohen/dp/0...

You Can Negotiate Anything is a classic, and very inexpensive investment considering the upside.

I can't give you any advice that you won't find in this book.

Good luck.

Getting to Yes and Mind and heart of the negotiator were required texts for the college class I took on Negotiation and Conflict Management. IIRC, they are both research-based. The first is a quick read, the second is a lot meatier.

http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Heart-Negotiator-Leigh-Thompson/d...

The class is available online via CSU-Bakersfield if you care to spend some mulah and a few months on it. When I took it (a zillion years ago, not terribly long after my pet dinosaur and rotary phone went extinct), we did a round of practice negotiations towards the end of class. It was awesome. I have no idea if it has changed any.

Peace.

I'll give you a full answer for $10. In the meantime, try this: http://changingminds.org/disciplines/negotiation/tactics/tac...

The value in you giving an answer resides with you, you should pay me the $10 and give us the answer. You win in karma and self-discovery.

Don't waste time thinking about it, you don't have much time in which to maximise your karma. Step on it!

The opposite sex will find you more attractive and you'll be healthier and more fulfilled if you give me the money ....

I think this is an important demonstration of the need to research your negotiating partner. Not only do I have more karma than I know how to use (or a way to use it); more importantly, I'm already married so it's important for me to avoid publicly increasing my attractiveness. Which is, of course, already overwhelming.

You think you have enough karma, your wife assures you it's not an issue but really she's sneaking a peak at the guy next door with those few extra points ... in studies 95% of women said online karma scores were as important to them as looks.

Be the man you always wanted to be.

But wait, that's not all ...

Send the money know and get an authenticate certified "Mighty Man of HackerNews Award", hurry awards are limited! Awards independently valued at $250 USD, that's right, you'd have to be an idiot to miss out on an offer like this. Act now!

Learn negotiation and make $ while your at it ...

Go on craigslist, search for a hot turn over market such as blackberries or iphones -- most people have their contact # on the actual ad.

Shoot them an offer of 15% below lowest listed price to market median .. i.e blackberry 9700, 175 - 200 - 225 - shoot them an offer of $150-160 -- if you get it great, resell for $200/225.

Repeat with any high turnover product you're comfortable with on the pricing.. its a good foundation for real-life negotiation practices.

Signing up for a mediation course through your local legal system would offer you both hands on experience and a chance to build a lucrative side business as a mediator. It would take some time and effort but with the overburdened dockets most judges are dealing with the push for pre trial mediation is growing as is the need for mediators.

Theres a book i read 'What they dont teach you at harvard" heres the link http://www.amazon.com/What-Teach-Harvard-Business-School/dp/... Read this one for sure...its like a negotiation and deal making manual

Go to a bar or other public venue. Pick up chicks. Or guys. Whatever gets you going. Rinse, repeat.

This is not negotiating (unless you're paying for the person you're taking home). I can't remember ever negotiating to get someone to go on a date with me. There is definitely a two-way process/interaction going on, but I don't think it's anything like negotiation.

I would argue that there are a lot of the same things going on, just abstracted away several times through layers of misdirection and hidden meanings.

Different for different people I guess.

I could go work at an amazing company and they could be really happy to have me, but we'll never both have the same idea about an ideal outcome. I'll want more and they'll want to give me less. I think that's more what negotiating is about, i.e. giving up something you don't want to so you can come to an agreement.

If you're chasing guys/girls, you're really just working towards a common goal with pretty much the same desired outcome (whether it be coffee, dinner, sex, whatever). One party is rarely giving something up in order to make the other person want to come to an agreement. That usually comes later in the relationship ;-)

You seem to think that a negotiation requires an exchange of money. Nothing could be further from the truth. The dictionary that comes with mac dashboard defines negotiation thusly:

   negotiation |nəˌgō sh ēˈā sh ən|
   noun (also negotiations)
   discussion aimed at reaching an agreement

There is very little difference in negotiating a salary and negotiating a romantic relationship at the end of the day. You try to reach an amicable agreement that both parties can live with. The reason I recommended a bar/public venue is that you can get way more practice there than waiting for your next salary offer.

Actually this is kind of mean and will probably be downvoted, but the way I found best to practice negotiations were in job offers.

Over the last year, I racked up job offers and had to negotiate them, which gave me practice and made me realize I had room to improve.

Negotiation Genius - best book out there and a good read.

http://www.amazon.com/Negotiation-Genius-Obstacles-Brilliant...

Go to a flea market and haggle. It's fun.

Get a kid. Seriously.

get married... the entire institution is negotiation.

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