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Comment by jartelt | Hacker News Reader

It is not necessarily just hostility to parents. I see it more as hostility to the HR policies in place at some of the companies. A new parent at facebook gets 4 months leave after the birth and then can take another 10 weeks of family leave.

Alternatively, non parent employees at facebook can take 3 days off to cope with stress or else need to take sick days. Otherwise they can take sick days, which probably would be frowned upon if overused.

Yes, parents have to deal with a lot more added stress during this pandemic. But, the difference between 10 weeks off (with no questions asked) and 3 days off (to "cope with mental health issues") is pretty stark. It seems like the tech companies could at least give those who do not take family leave an extra week of vacation or something.

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> I see it more as hostility to the HR policies in place at some of the companies. A new parent at facebook gets 4 months leave after the birth and then can take another 10 weeks of family leave.

It's not like facebook employees typically have 10 kids. The benefits you mention happen once, twice and rarely three or more times in a lifetime.

This policy also means that younger employees will be able to enjoy the same policy if they become parents in the next 20 years.

I don't know whether or not the 10 weeks of family leave will remain after the COVID-19 pandemic slows. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

The point is that the response to the pandemic was to give stressed parents up to 10 weeks of additional leave and to tell stressed non-parents to use their 3 mental health days (which parents also get). I don't think it's crazy for a stressed non-parent to look at that and feel like the company doesn't think (or doesn't care) that the pandemic affects them at all.

What's the solution? Allow non parents to take 10 weeks off for health issues?

What if then a parent has a baby and then has some other health issues. Can they take 20 weeks off? Or would that be unfair because as parents they can take 20 weeks vs 10 for the single person?

Isn't that a bit like asking what if the parent is given 10 weeks off and then has another kid. Do they get another 10 weeks off or is it unfair that they get 20 while the person having a single kid gets 10?

There is also not a need to immediately jump to 10 weeks over in comparison for mental issues. Improvements can be much more minor, such as not frowning on people using sick days. Not even granting any more time off, just less judgment for using what is already granted.

> Isn't that a bit like asking what if the parent is given 10 weeks off and then has another kid. Do they get another 10 weeks off or is it unfair that they get 20 while the person having a single kid gets 10?

Yes, that's exactly right. It's absurd to complain about parents getting 10 weeks off.

Every time a policy suggestion is made there is always that person who will try to find “loopholes”.

If a parent has a baby and then has health issues, yes they should take 20 weeks off. People should be treated as human adults and be trusted with the time they need to take off.

Yes, There will be those who abuse the system. These would be the outliers; even if they get “away”, we should still be generous with these benefits.

Is it too much to ask that everyone be treated equally?

Family status is a protected class, unless you are childfree. If we said everyone except Hispanics gets an extra 10 weeks paid time off, HN would be losing its collective minds.

It's not the same analogy. People with children are not equal to people without, so they can be treated differently.

How do you treat everyone equally then?

I know lots of FB employees that have taken mental health leave this year far in excess of any leave parents have taken. It’s simply not true that there’s no option for non-parents.

Just FMLA using a sympathetic doctor. You can find one. It's like a medical marijuana diagnosis.

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