Teenages tend to revolt against their parents no?
Before you answer "but they are not equal...", please think.
Purely anecdotally, none of the children I've been around that had thoughtful/respectful/logical parents have gone through the mindless rebellion phase - they've all been very level headed reasonable people in their teens. On the flipside, all of the children of mindless authoritarian parents have gone kinda wild pretty much as soon as they developed the agency to do so. It's kind of sad that (at least in the US) we've painted teenagers as some kind of psychotic monster that needs tamed.
One memory really stands out though, from about a week (rough guess) before I turned 13. It was my mother saying she was dreading my 13th birthday, as that's when things go bad.
It completely surprised me, as I hadn't thought anything special about it.
However from (literally) my 13th birthday onwards, life became hell. On the day.
My mother turned into an absolute control freak, full on, with no-let up. For years. If I didn't do something she wanted, in exactly the way she wanted (generally with no explanation), it was name calling, taking away of <whatever she knew I felt was important>, and doing whatever she could to belittle and degrade me try try and "teach me a lesson". There are no words to describe the mental abuse from that day onwards. It never stopped, and there was no way of getting it to stop.
I eventually dropped out of school (age ~15), lived on the streets for a while, then went to live with my grandmother.
All because some idiot bitch thought teenagers were the problem. :( :( :(
Please, don't take this approach with your kids.
But, she never did. And she never got better. Probably worse if anything. There were signs years later (after her mother - my grandmother - died) that she might have reflected on things and matured.
But no. Given an opportunity, she reverted back to form and went with the abuse approach.
That time, by (literally) forging my signature on paperwork to ASIC signing me out of being the director of my own company. Which she took over.
I wish I was joking. I'm really not.
One really sick thing about it is from her point of view she justified everything as doing it "for my benefit".
Like, you cannot make this crap up. :( :( :(
Anyway, if someone's in my situation then I truly feel sorry for them. I don't know of any way to fix it other than "get out and don't look back".
Ah, here we go:
> Although Westerners may expect from adolescents a certain level of delinquency, antisocial behavior and sometimes violence, cross-cultural research demonstrates adolescent behavior and experience is actually quite variable across the world. Adolescent misbehavior does not appear to be a cultural universal.
https://hraf.yale.edu/are-teens-always-troublemakers-cross-c...
As an interesting corollary, did you know that the symptoms experienced by schizophrenics is extremely culturally dependent? Here in America the voices heard by someone with schizophrenia often urge violence, but in other countries (India is the one I’ve heard) they say nice, positive things. Same condition, culturally dependent outcomes.
What happens to someone with Schizophrenia who moves from the US to India ?
If you take off the “teenager” lens and imagine that you’re witnessing the behavior of an adult who is being denied every variety of personal choice, while being pushed and browbeaten into spending their time in activities that don’t earn them money or status, the behaviors seem almost reasonable.
Just to take one example, if you were forced to wake up at 5:30 AM to get on a bus to sit in chairs for 7 hours listening to mediocre lectures, got in serious trouble if you took more than 5 minutes to move between rooms, had to ask permission to use the rest room, and that’s just what happens before you get home and have a new sequence of orders and chores issued to you ... then you would rebel.
I know this is an American thing, in the UK high school for me started at 0845, which meant leaving home about 0820, so getting up about 0800. Still way to early, but at least it's not in the middle of the night.
I don't understand how a school day would even work with a 6:30 start. When's lunch?
So your high schools start at 6.30 AM?
[0] https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/...
(A 7:18 bell seems crazy though - what's wrong with a 9AM start?)
> but lived in an area where you couldn't safely walk.
It was 1 mile on a four lane heavy traffic road with no sidewalks.
Then, when I was a child I'd spend about 45 minutes to an hour on the bus, which would normally arrive at the school about 30 minutes before start time as a buffer in case things were slow. This was decades ago, but my understanding is it hasn't changed that much.
School actually started at around 8:00, but we still had to wake up before 6:00 in order to get there on time.
Teenagers go through puberty because biologically they are now ready to have children, and evolution has favored those with very strong such urges.
In cultures where having babies at 14 is completely out of the question, teens rebel!
> What predicts more trouble-making? Adolescent behavior (and misbehavior) is related to key social relationships and socialization styles. More specifically, cross-cultural research finds adolescents are more likely to misbehave in societies that have more severe punishment, more restrictiveness, and more distant mother-child relationships (summarized in Ember, Pitek, and Ringen 2017).