There’s also no real-world analog for a For-loop, but it’s still not a credible complaint to avoid learning C.

Also, just because java objects are called “objects” and not some other word with less colloquial meaning doesn’t mean that they actually map well to real-world objects. Fully understanding the true semantics of Java objects is at least 100x as complicated as fully understanding the true semantics of monads. The only thing it’s easier to do with Java objects is to delude yourself into thinking you might understand them, because they have a familiar name.