Children at any age, from baby through adolescence, have developing brains, and obeying rules, testing rules, struggling against rules, and accomodating rules, both from society and your parents, is a critical part of development.

Don't try to short circuit it, the implied "wrong way to do it" that you are trying to short cut is how the world works and has worked from hunter gatherer days.

I have a lot of experience with this type of stuff from my own upbringing with a number of siblings (very liberal as in too liberal) and to give an example from the real world, I suspect (not claiming I know) that Aaron Swartz was given lots of freedom, and not a lot of stricture, and he wound up an admirable kid but RIP. Again, I don't know that for a fact, but you don't know my siblings so you can't see what happened to them.