How much do looks matter? Freakonomics Quorum.

I recall the story of a young boy who had a large wine-colored birthmark that a large part of his face. His mother, of course, was heartbroken. But she refused to be daunted. She told him that he could not change what he looked like, but he could impress people so much by what was within that they would not care about his appearance.

That young man went on to be a college president.

And from personal experience, I have found that some women, while more objectively beautiful than others, are not nearly so sexy. You would think…. But when a lady knows how to carry herself, present herself, and enjoys laughing and fellowshiping at the fullest, it is incredibly attractive.

And then, my own world. Having been a big guy all my life (I know am in the mid 400s, and hope to have gastric bypass one day), I can only say that, yes, I’ve experienced some weight related “bias.”

There were likely girls that didn’t give me a second look (and yet, I still married a total looker 13 years younger than me–going on 11 years together now). Or perhaps the truth is that I didn’t even take the chance because I convinced myself that it wouldn’t happen. (And it likely would not have, but still….)

I feel that I am two levels below where I should be in my career. In looks, I’d give myself a 6 (not for physical attractiveness, but for personality and so forth–so help me, several really pretty women have had crushes on me–go figure). But in intelligence, I think I likely have about as good an aptitude as anyone (of course, when it comes to physics, I’m tower like a colossus over, oh, 10% of the poopulation). So I’d give myself a 9 in intelligence (OK, and 8).

And yet, though I tend to get most of the jobs I interview for, and though I get good reviews, I am two levels down from where I think I should be–and where I KNOW I am worthy to be.

I could mark it down to being a BFM (Big Fat Man). And that may indeed be the case. But I also wonder how much of it is attributable to my rock-the-boat type thinking. I’m not afraid to write to my CEO with a great new idea (and skip everyone above me in the chain-of-command). I tend to question things and want to improve processes on a regular basis.

I don’t know that I’d feel any better if that was the reason I hadn’t progressed further. After all, not knowing when to leave off the maverick stuff is somewhat of a business flaw, I suppose. But I would indeed be very hurt to think that someone didn’t give me a chance becuase of my size.

Of course, I do well enough. But I do notice that salespersons tend to be pretty, blonde, long-legged, big-breasted young ladies. You would think people could see through such manipulation.

Lastly, I am fortunate to work for a world class Fortune 20 company that seeks to treat me well (of course, getting rid of all those too-small chairs would be nice, too.)

— Posted by AaronS

And everyone is way off base with the attractiveness. I would say everyone pictured there is pretty normal in terms of looks. Not bad looking, not awesome looking either. I think most people are average looking (what a concept), but few people want to admit it.

I am average looking :)

http://www.fashionmodeldirectory.com/models/search/now

Now, with rare exceptions, ALL of them are perfect 10s. And yet the votes hover around 5 or 6. None of them rate the "8" that the woman in the link gave herself. Yet, down at the wastewater treatment facility, she's probably indeed an 8. Or at the local WalMart. Or a lot of places.

Best quote: "Traditionally, the adult entertainment industry has been extremely image based and primarily focused on beauty, health, style, and youthfulness."

Your overall look can be improved slightly (ignoring cosmetic surgery) with the right clothes and attitude. Confidence is dynamic and fluid and can wax (and wane).

If you have have the skills and confidence, it's a powerful combination. My friend Jason's beautiful girlfriend wasn't that confident when he met her but he has helped her build up her confidence.

Most of the most confident people I've met aren't really good looking (5 or 6s) but they make people feel good.

Reading Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence" pointed out to me that if you lack confidence the other person can intuitively sense it and emphathize [e.g. feel your fear/lack of confidence] (the classic creeping out a random person you see in public that you are attracted to)

I take this to mean that while it can't hurt to be good looking being perceived as good looking and stupid is not.

combine the two and you have anywhere from .25% to .09% of the populace as actually worthwhile :p