“Alexander the Grate” on living in the “interstices of the infrastructure” | Hacker News Reader

“Alexander the Grate” on living in the “interstices of the infrastructure”

smithsonianmag.com

75 pointswhocansay40 comments

I was homeless for a period of time that extended to my first year at college. Was honestly not a bad life. I learned something fundamental... that one can get used to anything except being cold. I would go to sleep when the parks closed, around 10. Cold would wake me up at around 3 or 4 in the morning, and grab some more sleep around mid day. It’s one reason why homeless people have dogs... they serve as hot water bottles.

One thing it left me with is that it changed the way I walk through the city. For most people, streets are places they use to get from one place to another. They do not inhabit them as places in themselves. For me and other homeless, they were our homes. This changes how you walk a street... gives you something approaching a swagger.

This change in perspective is really interesting. Would love to read more if you wrote about it elsewhere.

Thanks for taking an interest. If you don't mind, I can share a few reflections here.

> One thing it left me with is that it changed the way I walk through the city.

On this subject... I recognize this same quality in the people of the working class district of Vietnam, where I now live. For them the gap between the public space and private is very narrow. This is common in Asian countries, where so much commerce is done on the streets. It is hard to define, but easy to recognize. Perhaps one reason why I feel so at home here.

> I learned something fundamental... that one can get used to anything except being cold.

Related to this topic was the importance of regular shelter. In that time, I slept in three places: a large doorway of an opera house, a bush in the middle of a large public park and under a bridge. Of these three, it is the bush of which I have the fondest memories, to the point where I even now I sometimes look at it on Google maps when I need reminding of who I am. Inside was open, clean and mostly dry. Living on the street reduces one's life to prime values, and the need for regular shelter is one of them. For me the regularity was as important as the shelter (hell... I had plenty of bushes to choose from!). It was the atomic beginnings of my sense of home. Odd to look back on now, when I am actively planning to design and build my own house.

As for how I had found myself in that situation, it was around 20% unfortunate circumstances, and 80% low-level thinking on my part. At the time, my only response to situations that gave me harm was to avoid them. I had not yet figured out how to construct situations that benefit me. It was this failure of consciousness that led to to the streets, and the day I left the streets was the day intentionality came into my life. I was in McDonalds, ordering a Fillet-O-Fish. When I handed over my money to the guy serving me, he refused to accept it and gave me a look I can only describe as beatific... like saintly glow. It took a while for me to recognize that this was a look of pity. "Why on earth is he pitying me?" Behind me was a wall covered in mirror tiles. As I turned to go, I caught sight of myself in these tiles, and I saw myself for what I had become: a disheveled monster. That very evening I went home to my fathers house and started to take college more seriously.

If you don't mind my asking, how old were you when you had to pass through this time of homelessness, (I mean, what age range until it ended) and how long afterwards did it take you to reach the point you're at now?

I was around 17 when I was homeless. Now nearly 60. I am gonna guess the experience would be very different had it happened now. For a start, the toilet I used, the public bathroom I used and the park I slept in are all now fenced off. Also... begging money had less competition then.

> For them the gap between the public space and private is very narrow.

I found this very insightful. Thanks for sharing.

Interesting that you ended up in Vietnam. I just spent the last 4 years there and the last 2 of them on the road on a motorbike. I came back to the US for work and got 'stuck' here because of Covid.

I 'get' what you're saying a lot having experienced living there. I've never been homeless, but I have adopted a minimal lifestyle.

Because of this new direction, I recently bought a campervan that I'll live in full time, over getting an apartment (or buying a fixed home). Something I wouldn't have done 4 years ago. My perspective has changed considerably.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. Interesting to hear other like-minded people.

Your inability to "get used to" cold may reflect a survival technique the body has, to avoid hyothermia. Sleeping cold has very high risks.

Aside from this, I am truly sorry you had to live through this experience, and that others continue to live through this experience. It has been a revalation to me how quickly local authorities here in Australia could house rough sleepers when they had a specific intent (disease prevention) in mind. I always suspected persisting homelessness was both complex (causative reasons) and simple (to fix) but what surprised me was how simple: they just had to decide to do it.

Shame on them, shame on us, for continuing to vote for authorities so apathetic to the problem of homelessness.

The same thing happened here in the UK. A relatively tiny amount of money (a million £/month or so) got >95% of rough sleepers off the streets and into secure accomodation where many have taken the opportunity to deal with their addictions, mental health issues, even education and job prospects. Turns out it's way easier to get off drugs/alcohol and sort your life out when you don't have to spend all your time finding the next meal or a safe(-ish) place to sleep.

The problem of rough sleeping can be dealt with using tiny amounts of money (at least in the UK), but unfortunately the wider problems of homelessness, where many are inviisble because they are permenantly couch surfing or stuck in hostels or at chronic risk of losing their homes if they have them are much more complex and difficult to deal with without changes to how housing works here.

At least housing probably works better now than it did in 1931?

The Spike http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks03/0300011h.html#part1

Note that Blair/Orwell is spotted immediately as NRS social grade A, which may explain why Winston Smith couldn't make the to-me-reasonable jump to the free proletariat in 1984:

> "The terrible Tramp Major met us at the door and herded us into the bathroom to be stripped and searched. He was a gruff, soldierly man of forty, who gave the tramps no more ceremony than sheep at the dipping-pond, shoving them this way and that and shouting oaths in their faces. But when he came to myself, he looked hard at me, and said:

> 'You are a gentleman?'

> 'I suppose so,' I said.

> He gave me another long look. 'Well, that's bloody bad luck, guv'nor,' he said, 'that's bloody bad luck, that is.' And thereafter he took it into his head to treat me with compassion, even with a kind of respect."

Yep, although that's not saying much.

The housing market in the UK is pretty screwed at the moment, and has been for a long while.

> Sleeping cold has very high risks.

When I was very young, I took a survival course. We were taught our highest priority was to produce shelter[1], insulated from the ground, the night sky, and prevailing winds. Only after that came things like water supply, etc.

[1] biWak: besonders im Winter arschkalt.

(one wonders if the angle bars on the heating grates serve any engineering purpose?)

I'm almost certain it is 'anti-homeless' features to keep people from sleeping there.

See for examples - https://interestingengineering.com/15-examples-anti-homeless...

I've been living largely outdoors and currency-free for several years. (I don't like the word homeless for many reasons.)

I've been indoors for a few months (with friends) since Corona started, since there are few places to work on a computer now.

I'm open to questions here, if anyone is interested.

Well, my first question is, why? Why do you choose to live that way?

[Edit: Or do you do so not by choice? From your post, I gathered it was by choice, but maybe I shouldn't assume that...]

I transitioned to this lifestyle gradually over the course of several years, starting with apartment-job-cat, through couch-surfing and short-term rentals, living out of a van, and then finally total freedom.

I chose to do it because I wanted to have more control over how I spend my time. I realized that I was spending most of my time on someone else's schedule, building someone else's dreams, rather than working on my own.

I also have a very high priority for sleeping. I generally sleep for as long as I want to, which sometimes means several times per day. This does not mesh well with having a job.

How do you sustain yourself? How do you afford food?

In the beginning, I just lived more minimally.

Now, I rarely think about food. I just don't.

Whenever it appears before me, and it's of quality, I eat enough to be full. Otherwise, I don't think about it.

It has opened more time for me to think about programming and other things I actually want to think about.

I no longer have to think about what I'll get for lunch, spend time getting there, wait in line, pay for it, etc.

I think the question still stands: how do you afford food? Also, what happened to the cat?

Food is pretty abundant in the US. I've eaten lots of fine (as in tasty and unspoiled) food from grocery trash. If you're close to civilization there's food banks, soup kitchens as well.

I found a new home for my kitty.

I do not "afford" food, because I do not pay for it.

I eat food others offer me or when I find it in discarded food.

I have participated in the "food stamps" program, but that does not last long, and it's only a small component of my diet. I also largely use them to buy food to share with others, not solely for myself.

As another poster mentioned, there is a lot of good food in dumpsters, as well.

This has always been a relatively non-serious fantasy of mine. However, whenever I fantasize about it, I wonder how I would be able to use a computer reliably / in a concentrated way without a home/electricity/internet. But you seem to be managing it. Can you talk a bit about how you're accomplishing that?

I also had this fantasy, and then it became a dream, and then it became an intention, and then it became reality.

I did not do it overnight, it is a practice I started about 7 years ago, and I am still practicing every day, though I am better at it now.

I was lucky to be exposed to the ideas at a very young age.

Like I said, had a fantasy for a long time, before my 20s, then through my 20s, then into my 30s.

Then, around the same year or two period, I got hit by a car on my bike (rushing home for lunch from work), family illness (while fending off emails from project manager), and then injured myself even more seriously and finally got to take some time off, wearing a cast.

As this was happening, I began to come to the conclusion that my fantasy/dream/intention has always been there all along, and by avoiding it I only made it a longer and more painful process...

As that stuff was happening, I started finally making moves. First, I got rid of my apartment, which was my biggest monthly expense. I started couch-surfing and also found a very cheap place to live. I slowly got into the mental habit of actually lowering my expenses.

Gradually, I stopped bying clothes, paying a cell phone bill, etc., until all that was left was transportation, shelter, food, and weed. (Since ~25, I am a regular smoker because it helps me with depression like nothing else I've tried.)

Eventually, I bought a minivan on Craigslist for $1,400, which turned out to have a "broken" transmission, and I lived out of this van for about 1-2 years. I never got the transmission repaired, I just had to drive it gently, and no faster than 25 miles per hour with the blinkers on whenever I was going uphill. But I was not nearly as often in a hurry as I am now.

Then I lived out of another van. I had a housemate in this van, and they were messy, and so I learned to keep my things organized in bags. My main backpack (smol) for things like identification and laptop, everything I don't want to part with. A bag for dance and movement things. A bag for electronics.

Then I met people living outdoors and thought, hey, I've done this before in the woods, why not in the city. So I tried it. And it stuck. I got rid of the van eventually.

Before Corona, there was so much free public space, it is was unbelievable. I could work in almost any town or city, because there was almost always a seat, a table, and a power outlet, and often wifi too.

All good things come to an end, however. I've had to make some adjustments lately. But I'm still hanging on, with some minor concessions.

While I am adjusting, I have reverted to using currency for a few things. Luckily, I was approved for foodstamps and even cash assistance, which works out to a few hundred a month. I have not applied for other benefits like the Corona Payment and Unemployment.

And now that I am more experienced, and I have a bit of a system, it is easier to just replace one thing at a time. I've also learned a lot about flow and manifestation.

If you have heard about The Secret and it seemed like bullshit, try another book: Entangled Minds. Quantum Reality is undeniable, and only a fool would ignore the possibilities.

You can literally create a better world for yourself by imagining it, focusing on it, setting good intentions, and feeling gratitude for your gifts to yourself.

I know you said it was gradual, but did you have any psychedelics experience or some spiritual experience that facilitated that change?

I had some psychedelics experiences before and after, but I was into the idea before that. Even after psychedelics, I still resisted the draw, because I was afraid for my own survival. I felt like the matrix is the only way.

It took some really harsh non-psychedlic but life-changing, harsh experiences I mentioned earlier to finally pull me away from it and realize that I was going down the wrong path for me.

As I mentioned in another comment, these experiences were a family member's illness, a couple of personal physical injuries (related to stress and rushing), and a stressful work environment.

If I had listened to the cues earlier, I could have transitioned before any of that happened, avoided a lot of the pain, and had a much easier time dealing with the unavoidable.

But life is all about lessons...

how's dating life? how do your dates react when they learn about how you live? Also, how do you afford clothing and toiletries like deodorant, toothpaste and the like? How do you shower daily without reliable access to showers?

My dating life is better than ever. Although much of the improvement I would attribute to being older and more experienced, some of it is indeed thanks to my lifestyle changes.

I used to waste a lot of time on trying to date people I was not compatible with. Now it is much easier to avoid doing that, because someone who might be interested in me only for my nice clothes or social status is no longer an option. I'm spending more time talking with people I am compatible with.

The whole experience has also led me to open up and be more vocal about being poly, something I used to brush under the rug in the past.

I do not buy clothing, and wear the same clothing for days on end until I find new ones. It allows me to be more easily recognized by both humans and animals. It also helps my microbiome not get wiped out. This also saves me a lot of time picking clothes out, washing them, etc.

As I mentioned in another comment, I do not use any products like deodorant and toothpaste, except for Dr. Bronner's soap on my skin.

I do not always shower daily, sometimes going for weeks without showering if I am outside. If I am indoors with access to a shower, I only wash with water.

If I feel too smelly and have to clean up, I can wash without a shower, aka pirate bath.

I did not make all of these changes overnight. I transitioned over the course of several years, and I was already prepared by having tried other things outside of the norm, having camping experience, etc.

Is anything in our life really a choice?

Where do you usually defecate?

Check their profile for an answer.

I look for a bathroom which I can still access and use that. This can either be a public restroom or a friend's place, lately.

When I was going into this lifestyle, I was worried about it, but it's largely a non-issue.

When out in nature, I prefer to shit in the woods. It's an experience everyone should try, there's something primal about it I can't quite explain.

I don't use toilet paper because I think it's rather gross. Prefer to wash my butt clean right after.

How do you wash your butt? That sounds even harder.

I use water, either sink, bidet, or natural body.

If it's not possible, I use wet paper towels or toilet paper to wipe clean, but this is rare.

For the last couple of years, I almost never use soap for anything, including my butt, except washing my hands.

> or natural body

What do you mean by natural body?

Natural body of water!

As another commenter said, it means natural body of water, like a creek, stream, river, lake, ocean, etc.

You mention elsewhere in the thread you like to think about code.

- Do you make it?

- How do you keep a machine powered? That actually seems harder to me at first glance than keeping yourself powered

- what do you make?

- I associate computing with “urban” and “industrialised”; like ... I assume we need the economics of The City (and to a degree its infrastructure) in order to build and run computers. I’m fine with the use of computers in “earthy” locations like farms and cafes, but their construction and typical use seems “urban”. If you’re still with me and this hippy way of talking, what does it feel like to work with computing whilst living unbound from The City?

Yes, I make the code myself.

I keep machine powered anywhere there is AC outlet. There are still quite a few around, but I'm now relying on friends for workspace.

I'm praying that soon my project will be appreciated enough that I will be welcome in more spaces.

I make a web-based forum system, ultra-compatible (mosaic, netscape, ie) and decentralizable (everything is stored as downloadable text files)

Computing while untethered from urbanism feels well-rounded to me. I am an animal/spirit, of this soil, water, plants, dirt. I am also an intelligence, and the 'net is where intelligences come together these days. So I feel like two essential parts of me are getting what they want.

I pass this guy (as well as the other guy across the street under the VRE bridge) every time I go for a run on the mall. I was very surprised to click this article, and think "wait I know this place". I've always wondered how long they've been there. Alexander seems to get up and move around during the day, but the other guy I've never seen out of his chair. Feel bad for these guys situation, and glad to hear they're keeping on.

This is the spot for anyone curious. Like the article touches on, there is an irony in these guys living on the street half a mile from the United States Capitol building. And the google maps photo has the other guy who stays under the VRE bridge.

https://www.google.com/maps/place/349-371+7th+St+SW,+Washing...

if I had not been alexander I would have been diogenes

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