Wow what huge expectations (edit: which is fine btw, just probably inhibiting to a relationship). I respect my wife, am amazed at what she does on instinct and emotion (compared to my incessant need to validate choices rationally) and learn from that every day. This was not something I could have ever foreseen (so among the things one doesn't know one doesn't know). She is great with the kids and as a result they are nice kids (one can learn a lot from nice kids). I actually like that she's not into scifi it gives me some alone time. We also bicker sometimes, her communication can be quite imprecise and my ability to quickly determine context correctly is limited. I guess I'm good a picking that one possible way of misinterpreting her.

Is she my perfect mate (meaning the best there is on the planet)? Very probably not, I would certainly like to tweak some things here and there (I want more sex, she wants more romance, the standard chicken and egg story. I guess that's why they tell you to keep working on your relationship).

Is the search for a potentially better mate worth the pain on me, her and the kids? No. I'm happy and can do most things I want. I appreciate that she wants the same life as me (a rural house near nature), we certainly agree on how we want to raise the kids, I find her attractive physically and have learned to appreciate her strong will (over time). I guess the big things are important, don't let the little things get in the way of happiness, and keep working at it ;)

Remember: Happiness = Reality - Expectations