That being said, recently I have been feeling that all my efforts are for not, sure I might be making the world a better place in my own small way but for what purpose?
Every day I watch as the people around me exploit the environment to enrich themselves while I get left behind. So lately the little voice in my head has been whispering "You own this land, why not clear cut the trees, make a couple hundred grand off the raw logs, buy a tractor to disc the land that's left and grow out a few years of annual grains then sell off the spent pesticide laiden land and live the rest of my life in a condo with a big bank account."
I know this sound selfish but why should I just scrape by working my fingers to the bone, whilst the rest of my community sells out? I feel like someone shit in the pool and I'm going to be the last one to get out.
I guess my point is every inch of soil I build and every tree I protect is like money in the bank, I can cash in at any time I want. The truth is every day I get more tired and feel the pull to cash it all in for my own selfish gains.