Can you give examples of what you mean by that? I've been living in the US (Seattle area) for over 7 years and haven't felt that at all.
The ten minute fiasco that followed, during which I was not permitted to re-enter the bar with my beer, but not permitted to put my beer in the trash can, nor permitted to "finish it" and throw the can away, I had to "pass it over the line" with outstreched arms, as though it was radioactive.
(edit: mis-remembered. I actually had to pass it over the wall that surrounded the entrance, not over the entranceway itself. Maybe that's part of the rules).
There were no cops on the scene, but I FELT we were on the verge of someone calling nine-fucking-one-one.
In order to re-enter the pub (closest to my airbnb), I had to "ask forgiveness", and I was "lucky enough" to have it bestowed on me.
Honestly I felt like a forty year old child.
The smoke blowing back into the restaurant was terrible (and I'm a smoker). But the rule-lady didn't mind: as long as the beer is here, and the smoke is there.
Generally cities are a hassle everywhere, with some exceptions. Have you been to New Orleans? Generally in the US, people who want to be left alone don't go downtown.
A woman (passerby) approaches me, and asks if I could please step into the street with "that thing".
I do so. She walks on.