> I'm telling you, I could invent an obscure security scheme that NSA couldn't crack in a million years because they wouldn't even know where to start.
Oh, boy.
First of all, you didn't. You invented a broken scheme, and then when I pointed this out, you invented a new one without stopping to think about why your first scheme was broken, or why you didn't catch your mistake the first time.
> easy to remember, impossible to crack (unless you know the secret formula, which you won't)
That's not at all how this works.
You're assuming that your "secret formula" automatically provides an arbitrary amount of secrecy. It doesn't. Every operation that you choose to apply can provide a certain number of equivalent bits of secrecy (it's fewer bits than you think), or, if chosen poorly, can completely wipe away any secrecy you've built up thus far.
Unless you can provide a proof that your method is sound, it isn't. Based on comments you've made elsewhere, I have next to zero confidence in your ability to build a construct like this correctly, save for sheer dumb luck. All you've done is inform everybody here that you've not a cryptographer.
> However, all this is moot if the border police demand a key upon seeing encrypted files. So actually I think the best approach is to hide the (encrypted) private key as innocuous words in emails.
The whole point of this discussion was to point out that you can hide strongly encrypted ciphertext using weak steganographic techniques so that the police aren't going to see encrypted files, and aren't likely to suspect a hidden message.
The point of using strong cryptography is so that even if they do manage to suspect a hidden message:
1) You're not making their job needlessly easy by also giving them the key by mistakenly thinking that you can hide it effectively. You can't.
2) You can get a strong key out of a passphrase that you can easily memorize, so hiding the key isn't even necessary in the first place.
> And when the border police see encrypted files and demand the key so they can examine further?
They're not going to see encrypted files.
Hide ONLY the ciphertext. Memorize the key.
It's simpler, provides more bits of secrecy, and is easier to validate than some harebrained secret-chained-hash scheme.