1. Don't run your own server? A co-worker once operated a fairly popular "public" XMPP server with a decent number of typically active users, a couple hundred. Some eastern European "darkweb" drug sellers had an account on the server, so their competitors thought it worthwhile to threaten the XMPP operator with very directed violence. If you don't host your own, who is running your XMPP server? What will they do when the government/yourThreatActor threatens them?
2. If you do (or don't!) run your own server, how do the end users find a halfway decent application on their fancy iPhone 18 Pro++ that supports push notifications? Their Windows 10 desktop? Ubuntu Linux?
3. If you run your own server, what do you do in the unlikely event of spam?
4. Crypto? OTR sucks for multi-device, OMEMO isn't extensively supported.
XMPP obviously doesn't work, but I can't suggest anything that's better.