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Cannot seems rather strong. I haven't been paying very much attention, but I was under the impression that Postgres doesn't have a dictator?

It's evolved. There was a point that Tom Lane was the last line of defense against anything that strayed too far.

Heck at one of Postgres conferences there was a shirt that said something like "Tom Lane reviewed my patch and all I got was this stupid shirt."

While he was not a BDFL style person, in the past, if he didn't like a change, it didn't make it in.

Or Rust, which - whatever you might think of it - does not feel very designed-by-committee.

Rust governance is more amazing than Rust the language and that is saying something.