To this day I can not find anything quicker to prototype in. Python is slow in comparison. Perl is great for quickly hacking something together for R&D purposes. Also, if you need to write something custom, Perl runs so much faster than Python and R.
I, like many people, stopped using Perl beyond a quick script in 2010. Not out of a lack of love. Perl was great. I wonder if your experience comes from being around the laggards, not so much Perl devs itself. When I was working in Perl no one around me was afraid of Javascript. Javascript and Perl are both C based. They aren't that different.
Your story is eye opening. It tells me what it would have been like if I had stuck around. I imagine working with the few who didn't want to learn new skills must have been more painful than you're letting on.