Kids: If you meet your heroes, say something. "Thank you" is good if you don't have the words.
Case in point:
Andrew Tanenbaum: I said that his work was amazing and thanked him. He shrugged me off. I think he felt busy or didn’t care. I was happy that he listened.
Jane McGonigal: retweeted my question while I had 0 followers and followed about 10 people.
A semi-famous Dutch rapper: he was appreciative.
I have many examples with non-famous people too. The rule applies to both. I originally learned it as a dating concept (a decade ago) but quickly decided to compliment anyone that I genuinely wanted to give a compliment.
The reason it can still be quite amazing is simply because strangers don’t dare to compliment other people that much. I have only seen it once from another person.
You can test this theory by giving a compliment to someone you think never receives it but deserves one (my go to: cleaners, especially if it’s really clean) and to someone who does receive them more often.
My experience: both can still be quite awesome but the cleaners I complimented really went out of their way to be appreciative (not always, just sometimes). One even invited me to his home and I discovered he also was a music producer on the side. We made some music together as I am a hobbyist myself.
I never looked at cleaners the same way again.
I'd signed up to attend his 'afscheid' lecture, thinking I might try go get my copy of 'Computer Networks' signed. Did not get around to going, probably for the better ;)
It's hard to overcome the 'say nothing' reflex. Years ago, g/f and I were visiting the Carl-Henning Pedersen museum in the town of Herning (DK), somehow we were the only visitors on that afternoon. We were blown away by the amazing wall decorations and his art. On the way out we ran into someone from the museum's staff and the Maestro himself (this was a few years before he passed away). What did we do? We just smiled and walked past them. I dunno....
And +1 the cleaners, for sure.
I have the same reaction to people thanking me out of nowhere especially when I am deep into my own thoughts and it's awkward to say something after the shrug. The realisation comes latter. So there is a chance he did appreciate your thank you but couldn't reply back properly.
I tend to take the most optimistic interpretation.
> I tend to take the most optimistic interpretation.
Yes, always take the most optimistic interpretation compatible with the known facts. Best way to stay happy.
Cleaners are people and are as complex, multi-faceted and interesting as anyone. No-one ignored me when I was a cleaner (I'm not a person to let them!), but I knew a girl who cleaned at a uni and she felt the students ignored her. She was a great person and they would have loved to have known her, she would have loved them back, it could have been great, but they probably didn't see her and I think she felt they were above her, and didn't try (well, smart students at a uni, she was a menial worker etc).
So the gap was never bridged - and had it been bridged, simply being acknowledged and chatted to by them, and appreciated as a person, would have helped her through a truly terrible time in her life. As well as making her job much nicer in the not-awful parts of her life.
People often don't see cleaners, cleaners/janitors/maintenance etc. sometimes they feel overawed or outclassed or something and scared off. Learn to see them, learn to say hello, let them know they are appreciated (as people, not as cleaners etc). It makes a huge difference to someone's work of scrubbing the floors, it really does. Like I said, it was my job once.
No one ever did anything worth mentioning for others to admire them, they did it because they had to for whatever reasons.
Treating them the same as you would any other person is likely to have a more positive effect.
I've had some really interesting interactions with famous people I didn't even recognize until later.
I have found that some people always view you as stupid when you’re doing certain jobs. When I was serving pints in a pub, people just assumed it was my career & that I was thick.
I’ve found it very important to not pre-judge.
Turns out he’s been flying to be part of a major talk show. The next night she watches the host ask the author about being famous. The author responds by saying that best part is that people approach him, and that he therefor gets to talk to so many different people, hear their stories and learn about their experiences.
So yeah. Say “thank you”.
I'm a huge gearhead. I live in the US, but a few years ago I was in Rome for work. I was out to a late lunch with my boss and was explaining that one of my favorite boutique car manufacturers, Pagani, is just south of Napoli and that I wanted to take a weekend trip to visit their facilities. No later than 10 minutes did Mr. Horacio Pagani himself walks into the restaurant and I had full on fanboy panic attack. It was just the four of us in a restaurant; my boss and I, Horacio and his friend. I froze up and couldn't finish my meal. I tried to explain to my boss, but he didn't seem to understand. As we were leaving, Horacio got up too, which made me incredibly nervous. He looked at me and in my terrible Spanish (he was raised in Argentina, which I knew because as I mentioned I was a fanboy) I muttered "mucho gusto, soy un fan de tus autos". He smiled and nodded. I've never felt like such an idiot but so happy at the same time.
Horacio Pagaini was a chief engineer at Lamborghini and basically pioneered carbon fiber manufacturing. He tried to convince Lamborghini to use carbon fiber parts, but their response was that if Ferrari wasn't using them, neither would they. Obviously that didn't last long.... He left Lamborghini and started his own company to manufacture carbon fiber parts and eventually created some of the most amazing "hypercars" that money can buy (see Pagani Huayra and Zonda).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horacio_Pagani_(auto_executive...
He was a wonderful speaker and just a great guy to talk to. He patiently signed copies of K&R C that folks had brought, told interesting anecdotes, and was a kind and pleasant person to everyone who spoke with him. Very approachable.
One thing I remember is him telling me that he only gets stage nerves if he knows he's being filmed. Massive crowd? No problem. Photographs? Go for it. Video cameras? If you do, you have my permission but don't tell me, and make sure I don't notice them.
After that I kept reaching out to other Big Names, and many of them said yes. I figured there was no harm in asking, all they could do is say no. And not a single person I asked said no because they didn't want to, it was always because the scheduling or travel just wouldn't line up properly.
He smiled awkwardly: “You’re welcome, I guess.” Textbook Larry.
Randal and I were on the same flight out of ATL and met up for a bite in an airport restaurant.
Not just for the celebrities in our profession, let the people in your everyday world know how much they mean to you, how they’ve helped you out, how they’ve made meaningful differences in your life, that you care about them, and that you love them. Life is too short not to.