My Hey app is also providing me with zero functionality as well. I'm not being dismissive of your issue.

You know, maybe you do have a point (HEY should be using Apple's in-app purchase system). They should set it up as a weekly auto-renewing subscription at the most expensive price point possible ($1,299 USD). Maybe then Apple would leave them alone.

*(@dhh has said that HEY will be removing the invitation-only restriction in July).