I actually took this a step further and un-followed all of my friends. It took me more than a few hundred clicks, but Facebook now shows me a completely empty news feed. There's no ads either, although I'm not sure if that's because of uBlock Origin or if it's because there's not enough posts to stick ads in-between.

As soon as there's another service I can use as a modern Rolodex, I'll be using that instead. I think most people only have an account for this reason...