Try getting a job on a smaller codebase and in a language whose ecosystem you understand very well (if there isn't any, work on it in the spare time you have now). This will significantly reduce the initial hurdles on the job for you.
That's a great idea. I currently have an opportunity to help a friend with their codebase on a consulting basis without substantial pay. I am still anxious and resentful towards compensation but it's an opportunity to practice working.