I've found people to be generally really helpful and patient. My experience is that they really love newbies coming by - there's fewer and fewer people doing woodworking, so the chance of getting a long term repeat customer is a pretty big deal.
I'm sorry you've had poor experiences like that. I've not been involved in the community for an extended period of time, and have found people to be generally incredibly helpful and patient.
I've gone down the rabbit hole of finding perfect tool to accomplish a task, be it in software realm or woodworking realm, only to realize I lost sight of the end goal in search for THE tool.
Thanks for pointer to Mere Mortals channel!
Pocket holes are one of those non-intimidating techniques that have kept me in the game too. I was pretty impressed by Kreg's mission: https://www.kregtool.com/about-us/mission.aspx props to them and any one else leveling the field for novices.
"Kreg products are designed to make wood projects less intimidating, to build confidence, and inspire success." I've been very satisfied by their pocket hole jig
Anyone who would argue that pocket holes are unacceptable for cabinet work is someone I would argue you should ignore.