Amen. Extroverts ruined my K12 education, how about yours? Now they're busy doing the same to the political system, entertainment, etc.
And what're the introverts doing? Oh, they're off building the next Facebook/LinkedIn to facilitate the extroverts...
I hate the idea of cliques (jocks, nerds, etc.) just as much as I hate the idea of baseless notions that extroverts are the slime balls while introverts are the silent heroes. If people hailed the qualities of introverts, then they would be in the position of extroverts, and since introverts presumably dislike being in such situations, they would cease honing the skills like "independence, focus, persistence..." they are admired for.
If the introverts are truly "building the next Facebook/LinkedIn," then their success is derived from the extroverts using it.
It might not be a pretty world, but at least it's balanced (to a decent degree).
- Make an attempt to understand the laws that they are passing and their implications
- Cut 'riders' out of bills
- Try not to make laws that only benefit lawyers (so ambiguous that there will be multiple precedent-setting cases before the legal grey area is gone).
> It might not be a pretty world, but at least it's
> balanced (to a decent degree).
I'm not throwing in on either side of the 'this is reality vs this is fantasy' argument, but if we assume that it is reality, your idea that it's balanced doesn't seem to hold up.
Maybe what's wrong with the political system boils down to false promises and inability to effectively determine what the people want. That is an introverted quality (lack of proper social communication). The bad politicians who pass crappy laws are more a testament to the people who vote for them anyway.
And there's no reason to suggest CEO's are anything like public figures. In fact, I would argue a good many of them are introverts. If you view their respective companies as teams, then introverts shine just as well as extroverts do in team settings.
On the same token (introverts in Washingon == Communism), I could say that few con-men are introverts, thereby implying that an extrovert-heavy government would be full of con-men. The introvert-vs-extrovert argument certainly isn't a battle of good-vs-evil, though I don't think anyone here is saying that we should have a population of 100% introverts (or extroverts) either.
Calvin "Silent Cal" Coolidge. (Possibly. He wasn't averse to press conferences, certainly, but he certainly cultivated the image of being a, in his words, "solemn ass" and was pretty universally known as a reticent man.)
> someone who avoids cameras be in the entertainment business
J. D. Salinger. Thomas Pynchon.
Many introverts are quite good at talking to crowds. Speaking as an lifelong introvert myself, crowds are easy. It's individuals that can be difficult.
"Introverted" and "shy" are not the same thing.
Many entertainers are introverts--the actor who vanishes back to his trailer the second the cameras stop rolling is almost a stereotype. Introverted politicians are less common, but they exist as well. Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter are both famously introverted.
The distinction between introvert and extrovert has little to do with willingness to appear in the public eye. It's about where you find your energy: The introvert is drained by dealing with people and recharges in private, while the extrovert finds social interaction invigorating and solitude draining.
Being chummy with people afterwards didn't get one iota easier, though.
These are unscientific observations on the basis of a bunch of academic conferences (which give you the opportunity of observing the same person in a public-speaking context and informally). YMMV.
But I think your thinking is too binary (but I can relate to that as well as I'm a geek at heart) - who says that extroverts can't be introspective or sensitive when you are being sensitive to them or that under the right circumstances, when somebody puts the move on you, your favorite music is playing at the bar or just feel-good atmosphere, an introvert flips into the life of the party. Not exclusive to the programming world, I feel that most people put unfamiliar cliques into bins and give themselves the self-label of "martyrdom" and "misunderstood geniuses" when we are all confused, insecure yuppies secretly nursing our individual quarter-life/mid-life crisis.
Like when you are debugging an application, would you expect if you don't change code or step-through to examine deeply your stack, the program would just magically work? But too often in the real world, programmers (including me) bang our heads in frustration of "us vs. them" and pine for better results without actually debugging our control flow.
But I can empathize with that too - too often as programmers, we are taught to grind through the code, not to give in no matter what; there's a masochist pleasure to drill down and resolve the bug no matter - "do not go gentle into that good night!" But I'm also a options trader and one of the hardest lesson that that field humbles you is "do not try to fight the market, do not take your emotions out on the market" - because the market is like an ocean, swimming against the current is difficult and strained whereas giving yourself to the vast tides is relaxing and liberating.
So like the financial markets, so is the "meat" market; and the trend there is that you have to go out, put yourself out there, flirt with strangers - because how else would someone who's interested in you be able to consummate that relationship if you are sitting at home. Do that and then tell me if you still have the same opinion about obnoxious/rowdy extroverts and non-programmers.
And as a programmer, I'm going to give you unsolicited advice about how to break into the extroverts scene. It's all about desensitization to let yourself go. First, you should sign up for a volunteering opportunity in your city; it's a good structured environment for people to meet up and people there by the nature are friendly. Once you get warmed up in volunteering, you should go daytime to a cafe by yourself and get a cup of coffee and try to flash smiles at strangers. People go to coffee shops by themselves all the time and it's expected you smile at people in public. Then you should go to a bar and try to have a beer by yourself. Do not worry about appearing awkward because actually people there probably have lots of respect for you for having the balls to come in by yourself and not rely on friends' crutches; and don't get surprised that extroverts will approach to talk, get your phone#, or more. Next, go to a night-club when there's a dance night that's playing your favorite genre music; again just dance the night away and don't feel self-unconscious, just concentrate on the music.
By then, you would have been approached by tons of interested strangers and/or developed confidence to approach potential cute romantic liaisons yourself that you'll know what to do. I can't believe typed out this rant but please disregard if this isn't particularly relevant to your situation but this is what happens I'm drunk at 4:48am on Sunday.
I moved to another country, I don't know anyone there, I do go out on my own and I do sit in cafés on my own from time to time - heck absolutely EVERYWHERE I go I am alone since 2 years.
I have not been approached by ANYONE not even a single time. I can hardly catch anyone's eyes to so much as get a chance to smile at them.
Your suggestions sound smart and useful but ultimately they probably only work for very attractive people and/or people who are not shy and already extrovert anyway - at least in my experience.
I try to do something similar to what noname does, but I also try to seize opportunities to talk to people. In a crowded coffee shop, it's inevitable that you'll overhear conversations, and people realize this. If the conversation isn't too personal, and you have an insight or something meaningful to add, try interjecting. I'm always apologetic when I do it, flashing smiles and trying to be as polite as possible. If I feel they were actually bothered by the interjection, I say my piece, apologize and leave it at that. But people often are receptive to the interjection, and I've met some good people that way - people that I now consider friends.
Being social is about being independent of other people's positive and negative feedback about you. Suppose a stranger looks down or frowns when you try to tell them a joke or to get them to open up on a bus or something, your thinking could go either, "well, this sucks; people think I'm nerdy, unattractive, etc." or you could think, "well, it's alright; maybe she's just having a bad day or just being shy and really appreciated me; well, there's always next time!"
Kind of like debugging, "first you don't succeed, dust yourself up and try again!" (well, I guess it's more like re-compile and try again, doesn't have the same ring to it though).
Seriously, I've countryhopped myself and once you have a decent grip of the language, the best way to get low-friction contact with the locals is to strike random conversations with old people. With few exceptions, they love it when anyone at all talks to them, have interesting stories to tell, and are much easier to approach than your random person-your-age on the street. Try it. Give yourself a quota of one conversation a day. Talk to that granny that lives two floors above you to start with. Keep it up.