The means someone achieves pleasure or long term happiness can in fact be the same. And I see see no reason to believe why a video gaming community (what he refers to as a shallow connection) can't provide both. Are you enjoying yourself presently? Great, that's pleasure. Is this a sustainable way to enjoy yourself? Great, you are on your way to long term happiness.
> We also expose the shallowness of connections that don’t really serve us. What does it say about a connection that isn’t as good without gaming or coffee? What does it say about the quality of a relationship if going orgasm-free for a while leaves you feeling hollow and empty instead of deeply in love and grateful? Addictions so often mask substantial weaknesses that we don’t feel ready to face.
We have a wide variety of needs, and it is unreasonable to think there is a magic bullet. Different social groups (or activities, hobbies) meet different needs. If you remove whatever was meeting your need, then you will naturally feel a sense of loss, whether the relationship was a healthy one (what he calls intimate) or an addictive one. I would imagine the loss of my dog or a loved one would leave me grieving for some time and I would enjoy parts of my life less. This doesn't mean those less enjoyable things were bad.