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Comment by watwut | Hacker News Reader

Where exactly do people go to bars without meeting friends group they don't already know?

> Using hobbies is a great way to make friends if you enjoy that hobby

That is literally the exactly same thing as books club. Books club is not special, it is yet another hobby used for socialization.

You don't go to gym to meet people, because gym is individual activity. But people do go to sports clubs to sport a bit and chat a lot.

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> Where exactly do people go to bars without meeting friends group they don't already know?

Everywhere is my guess.

Some examples:

1. People go to their “local”. You probably already know people there, but you don’t when you first go if you are new to the area.

2. When you are out of town. Bars near convention centers can great places to meet interesting people. My local happens to be one.

3. When the bar has a theme you and your tribe like. It’s an easy way to meet new people you like. In larger cities, the bar scene is constantly evolving.

4. For live music. Having lived in Austin, there are great shows every night of the week. Yes, you usually invite friends, but there are some shows that I would not miss even if my friends didn’t want to go.

5. After a long day, I will sometimes choose to go to a bar alone and that is not likely to have anyone I know as customers. Sometimes I want to be around people and have a drink, but I don’t want to interact with anyone.

6. Same as 5, but I just want to read a long-form essay or a book.

I’m sure there are more.

Having gone to a lot of bars on my own, my experience is that people talking to lone strangers in bars is something that only happens in movies.

Alternate theories are...

1. I'm doing it wrong.

2. I'm going to big city bars where people don't talk to strangers.

I've never been to a book club, but at least it's an event specifically for people to talk to each other.

You're doing it wrong or going to the wrong bars. I'm as awkward a wallflower as they come, and I've still been drawn into my fair share of bar conversations and hijinks when drinking solo. And any good dive bar will have at least one old man drinking alone and willing to talk to anyone.

I think you are doing it wrong, or you are going to the wrong bars. I sometimes get chatted up even when I am staring at my screen trying to be ignored.

Try sitting at the bar itself. Assuming you are at a social bar rather than a speed bar (i.e., one where they are slinging drinks at a mile a minute), a good bartender will talk to you a bit, and that’s often a way to get the ball rolling.

I will also add that some bars are more social than others, even though they may seem very similar on the surface. I don’t really know why, but it could be the clientele, it could be the bartenders, or it could just be that specified time/day.

>Where exactly do people go to bars without meeting friends group they don't already know?

For example, I've met plenty of neighborhood friends by going to live music nights at nearby bars and restaurants. The music was an "excuse" to go to a place I didn't know anyone.

In my city, there's also been bar nights specifically about meeting people, think speed dating but without the emphasis on dating.

I wonder if part of Crossfit's popularity is that it's somewhat less of an individual activity.

Also: why people to to college instead of just the library.

Precisely. The community aspect is more important to many people than the actual workouts themselves.

I think this can be said for many group-class-like workouts though.

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