Sorry, this is not hand wavy nonsense. And what you are providing is called annectodal evidence.
Also, your universe seems to consist only of the JVM as a memory-safe alternative to C++. Yes, there are a lot of bloated, badly performing programs implemented in Java. However this isn't a given. Yes, some design decisions for Java introduce the risk of bloat, but you can avoid them at much less effort (and risk) than memory corruptions and new features like the value classes are reducing the bloat quite a bit. But still, the JVM is extremely high performance, so for speed in surprisingly many cases, it often beats C++. Virtual method calls are just better optimizable at run time, the Java JIT creates excellent code and Java has some of the best garbage collectors, so at really dynamic memory loads, it beats any manual management by a wide marging.
And of course, there is a whole world beyond Java as alternatives. Rust has been explicitly designed to excel at tasks C++ traditionally shines for, while giving your full safety.