I appreciate your optimism in thinking that most (all?) people reaching for distributed systems actually know enough in the space to evaluate such claims.
Based on this, my understanding is: most of the time you want a relational database. If a relational database becomes a bottleneck for certain data, and you don't want to do typical scaling solutions for relational data, then you need to know what you'll trade for the higher performance. Based on what you trade, you then decide what kind of data store you will use.