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Comment by swalberg | Hacker News Reader

"watch the kid" -- I think you spelled "be a parent" wrong.

I don't know where you are in your career, or what your expectation is of a career, but there are lots of companies out there where you can do interesting things, be well paid, and have time to balance your work and family life. You just need to look for it just like you were looking for a higher salary, more responsibility, or even use of a particular technology.

Asking about it at an interview may get you an answer, or rather, anything but an emphatic "yes" with some examples may be a strong negative sign. But I think the key thing is to decide what you want out of both a career and a family, and to find the job that puts you on that path.

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The last time I had a face to face interview I actually brought my child with me. Apparently in Finland that is, if not common, at least acceptible.

(I'd quit a previous job specifically because I wanted to be a stay at home parent, but then time passed and I had to make the decision to work again.)

Later I heard the way I'd treated him in the interview was a positive thing that helped me in the interview, though to this day I can't recall what I did with him except "Please be a little quiet now, Daddy needs to talk .."

I've thought about moving to a different company. My current company is in the top 20 best places to work in IT (computer world), although I don't know how much i trust that rating. They talk a lot about work-life balance. Do you have an example company to recommend?

I don't seek a high salary - just enough to live without fear and to someday retire. I hope to do interesting things, but I would be fine with boring tasks if I have a good work culture. It would be difficult to switch since my experience is in Neoxam and Filenet.

Thank you for your input.

If what you said it's true, that rating is worthless. How can be a top 20 if you get a lower rating just for taking parental leave?

That's awful. Whoever had a kid can tell you how hard is the first month. And if all goes well, the first month is hard. If you have even a little hiccup, the first month is SLEEPLESS.

They get the rating because overall it's a pretty good place and they won't tell you the real reason behind your rating - they always have a cover story. I have friends who are managers. They've told me things they shouldn't tell an employee. For example, if a manager picks someone for the highest rating, some departments require the manager to give someone a below average rating to "balance it out", even if they don't deserve it.

That's a terrible company you are describing...

They are good on paper. So unless you're one of the 3-5% getting screwed (and realize it)... They offer 6 weeks paid parental leave, upto 14% 401k, $100 extra per month for 5 years to pay off student loans, profit sharing, 100% grad school tuition, 1 VTO day, outcomes based evaluations (so they say), and pay for performance (so they say).

Sorry, I don't have any specific places to recommend since it's going to be very regional and vertical specific. I don't know those two particular pieces of software, but try to sell yourself less as a "neoxam expert" and more "expert in solving the business problem that Neoxam does", and focus on your accomplishments there.

I have a dim view of any "best place to work" rankings ever since I worked at one and realized that people generally pay to be on those and the numbers are juiced when HR sends emails out suggesting everyone give the company a glowing review.

And don't forget to enjoy parenthood. There are hard times, and there are great times (often concurrently). You've got a limited amount of time to enjoy the experience and to guide them to be the people this world needs. Good luck!

Literally nowhere that is a good place to work is even listed in these rankings. It's always massive corporations that get the award for some weird PR reason.

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