I'll bite.
> socialism is defined
From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. Socialism is the way. Communism is the unreachable goal.
> If socialism is public control, this does not equal totalitarianism. Social democracy is a form of democratic public control of resources.
You can discuss things ad nauseum and it will mean nothing. The human mind is too primitive to account for all the facets of reality. There is an almost infinite number of factors that play into the reality of the state.
In the end, the only way to know if something works is to try it.
Socialism was tried. Repeatedly. It always led to a totalitarian state.
Democracy is tyranny by the majority. When protections of the individual are removed for the sake of "social justice" or socialism or for any other reason, the majority is free to abuse the minority for its gain. And they do. Very quickly. This escalates over and over, until a totalitarian state is born.