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Comment by cloudier | Hacker News Reader

Thanks for sharing this — I needed it. I think this explains why I often say “I get it” when I really don’t: I don’t want to look stupid. But being able to admit ignorance means that I can test my mental models and make them even better. I need to be able to admit my ignorance to myself to be able to ask myself the questions that strengthen my understanding of new or unfamiliar concepts.

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In my experience it's often quite obvious when someone doesn't understand something and they say they do. Someone who properly understands will typically offer some tidbit of feedback from their understanding as an acknowledgement. And if not forthcoming I will extend the conversation to try and tease out that bit of feedback. I think this works because the people who genuinely understand something are usually keen to demonstrate that understanding in some small way.

If I explain something to a coworker and he doesn't understand it, I think that is because I explain it badly and will try to reformulate or find someone else to explain it.

But it only works because I consider my colleagues. If a random person does not undestand, I will react differently.

Glad to help out! I think this is also a cultural thing to some extent: no one wants to 'lose status' in front of their peers. Overcoming this is important to actually learn something---and to me, this displays great confidence.

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