Our stand-ups are pointless because they're just status updates. Not much of consequence can happen in 10 minutes anyway. I ignore our metrics at the end of each sprint. They're meaningless. Our retrospectives are largely useless other than giving shoutouts to team members. I feel the sprint structure leads to Parkinson's law.

This situation, however, is perfectly normal because Agile advocates "people over processes." My team doesn't give a shit about the Agile process, so it's mostly like forced physical training but without the fitness benefits.