have global menus (who really wants that with todays screen resolutions and two monitors?I never had a problem with that. With a 13" device it's possible to have 2 to 4 windows open at the same time, since the windows themselves use space efficiently. So at best this argument is subjective to the user.
needs the worlds best trackpads because their laptop keyboards have misplaced ctrl and their default keybindings are so inconsistent that users would be lost without a good pointing device
Not being accustomed to the keyboard layout is rather an excuse than an argument. Also my impression of the key bindings is that they are well done and consistent. Do you have examples to prove your case?
forces developers to use the fn key to reach the function keys, but even then, maps some of the F-keys to operating system functions.
As an developer you should be able to tackle more difficult tasks than finding out that the custom fn keys can be disabled in the system preferences->keyboard pane(if it is important enough for you to write about publicly).
doesn't get multiple desktops? Don't ask me why they ship them, because their window management is so broken that multiple desktops just doesn't work, at least not for me
Window management is a problem for me too. Tools like Shiftit make it easier, but it does't feel like THE solution. I'm curious though if that problem is considered solved on any other platform. The last times I used Windows (XP to 7) it did not do any better.
Try have someone who doesn't know iTunes burn a cd
At some point it was easier to do that(e.g. dedicated button), but given that disc-drives are on the leave in PCs, burning is of less importance to users (at least I can't remember someone burning cd's recently). As one of the most used peaces of software iTunes has a pretty good help documentation, which describes how to burn a cd nicely. The procedure is also quite reasonable, introducing few concepts apart from standard procedures(creating a playlist).