How to avoid being "fan boy" or "fan girl" when building relationships with people you admire | Hacker News Reader

How to avoid being "fan boy" or "fan girl" when building relationships with people you admire

escapefromcubiclenation.com

20 pointsmarkbao11 comments

My strategy is to completely ignore my heroes, so I don't freak them out by revealing myself as a fan boy, and then hope they come and chat with me first.

How is it working, pg? Are we BFF yet?

I think this can be summed up easily as just treat the person like a human. Even humans accomplish great things sometimes. These heroes even worship other people and the more calm you are, the more respectful you will often come off as. I observe this in Guido when he talks about Django. Guido is obviously a very capable guy and he talks admirably about Django without dropping into fanboyism.

Perhaps the real lesson is to pretend the person is your equal, which they probably could be, and let it go from there. They'll appreciate it. If they don't, well, you should probably stay away from that maniacal maniac.

pretend the person is your equal

Why pretend?

Every one of us has something special and unique to offer. No need to "compare" our personal offerings. Just find it and share it.

If the person is a fanboy, they probably won't think they're equal. Pretending will at least get them part of the way until they know it's true.

I think I have this same problem when I become infatuated with a girl.

The problem is that you refer to it as "becoming infatuated." Replace that with "start liking" and you should be okay.

must...resist...temptation!...

Stay on message.

sharing your every accomplishment since getting a gold star for "most cooperative" in preschool.

A "most cooperative" star in preschool is a negative not a positive. Being especially obedient especially early should not impress anyone.

Unless you were a crafty little devil and used the supposed obedience to easily get away with mischief and worm your way out of trouble, much to the dismay of your peers.

Haha, yes, well, I'm not sure that's an accomplishment you'd want to brag about either :)

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