Ask HN: What are you doing to make your kid more successful?
Just a general question to see what metrics you use to measure the success for your kids or how they see it. And what things are you doing to improve their progress.
I spent 25 years teaching math and science from 5th grade through high school. I taught many cross-disciplinary classes as well, so I'm comfortable teaching writing and something about most subject areas. But my first priority with my kid (9yo) at this time is how he's feeling each day. When our kids grow up and look back on this time, the first thing they're going to remember is how they felt during this time. Did they feel safe? Loved? Listened to? Those things are going to be seared into their minds much more than whether they got stronger at math or reading or any other academic area.
So each day when my kid asks, "What are we doing for school today?" the first thing I say is, "How are you this morning? What have you been thinking about?" Some days we end up jumping right into learning activities. But some days we spend most of the time just talking, and answering his questions. And to be perfectly honest, some days we just cry together for a little while.
All that said, this is probably the only time in life where we'll be homeschooling. So rather than focusing on information and individual assignments that the school is providing, I'm focusing on critical thinking habits, and other ways of understanding that should set him up to enjoy school and do well. We're doing longer writing activities - watch an episode of your favorite show, then write a summary of what you watched. How did the story begin? What was the source of tension in the episode? How was the tension resolved? Were there any interesting subplots? That allowed us to develop a writing process, with a focus on revision and conversations about knowing your audience and defining a level of quality to aim for. With math, I got him a beam compass for Christmas, so we took that out and learned to use it. Then he measured diameters and circumferences, divided c by d, and discovered pi. Fun constructivist activities like that will do a lot more for his long term relationship with math than a bunch of drill activities will.
Teach them not to blame others - or circumstances - for bad things that happen to them. Teach them to take responsibility for their actions and not to ask for handouts.
By the way we were strict when they were little, so we had enough slack to give them space when they rebelled in their teens.
(3 kids, 2 have great jobs in IT, one is a high school math teacher, all three are successful and valued members of society).
For example, I discovered programming with my dad's help and I like it so much that I am constantly learning more on my own now.
Finding something they are motivated in is 10x more useful than forcing them to do something they don't enjoy.
Then I did the research and found a public arts high school in the area that’s 45 minutes away. Encouraged her to apply. Next year I’ll be driving her to school in the morning.
I think the most important thing you can do as a parent is do the leg work for them. Passion doesn’t translate to an ability to navigate bureaucracy or take initiative to do something outside the norm. I felt that I would’ve been much better off growing up if my parents had helped me find a math & science school to go to instead of tell me to find one and then they’ll look into it for me. I never did because I was too young to navigate that whole process.
We’ve also found some great stuff in my Great Courses subscription that do a great job teaching math or listening to classic children’s stories that he’s been interested in, but overall just letting him drive whatever he wants to do for the most part.
If we’re still doing this in the fall maybe we get more structure, but for now I’m more interested in letting my kid be a kid, especially since he can’t play with his friends.
To improve their progress, I try and support their interests and goals. Maximizing the time and opportunity to pursue each activity.
My parents were both in regulated professions and they provided with the same upbringing. My partner and I are both in STEM (developer and data scientist) we both hope that they don't have follow the same in the path but its very likely with all the tech lying around the house. Either way, I just want to see them happy.