That’s part of it, right? Part of learning coping strategies it literally not knowing how to cope. You aren’t going to get coping strategies for free, usually people with thick skin, stable emotions (on the face of it), most likely dealt with a bunch of stuff in their past. It’s not free. That’s why you’ll hear a lot of people that make it past their teens/20s usually manage emotions way better simply because they’ve already been through all the bullshit (and not necessarily life experience, but their own neuroticism).

From experience I can tell you the question you are asking is a massive waste of time in terms of your own energy. When that clicks, boom - you figured it out.