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Comment by Causality1 | Hacker News Reader

I like the concept but I admit to not really understanding how they work in practice. For the in-toilet ones, how do you aim them? Just scooting around? They don't dribble poop-water down your cheeks? The handheld ones just baffle me. How do you get them in place and spread your cheeks at the same time?

I feel like I'm going to need a stack of wet-wipes and a disposable towel the first time I actually use a bidet.

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You'll figure it out, and you'll kick yourself for not having done it sooner. It's all much easier than you're imagining. I had the same concerns, and am a complete convert now.

There will be sheaves and sheaves of people using this thing incorrectly and in mind-boggling hilarious ways, because they haven't figured it out. I have traveled extensively in Japan, and encountered the Toto toilet in practically every hotel. I have never used this feature, was and am too embarrassed to ask. Somehow this quote comes to mind:

> Death is a mystery, and burial is a secret.

Eh, just push all the buttons, what's the worst that's going to happen.. But seriously, I have no idea how it aims but it usually aims quite well.

Camera + OpenCV maybe? Seems simple enough

So what you're saying is because you've never actually tried simply pushing a button, you know that people who do try just pushing a button are going to do so incorrectly with your complete lack of personal experience?

At the risk of sounding naive, help me figure out what I'm missing then. I had the opportunity to use a built in style bidet when I visited Japan, and after a few days of trying, I could not figure out how to clean myself with it. There was always some residue left that had to be toilet papered off.

Are you expected to use your hand to clean like you would in the shower? Because that's never been made clear to me and what I've read online says to just let the water splash on you then dry it off with a towel, which doesn't seem sanitary at all to me.

Edit: Reading through the thread has been helpful. I've always had bidets pitched to me as a toilet paper replacement, but the comments here indicate it's something to be used after wiping, not in lieu of.

Before, not after, but yes.

Or I could have just been doing it wrong, there wasn't exactly a training class when visiting countries in which they are common.

> Or I could have just been doing it wrong, there wasn't exactly a training class when visiting countries in which they are common.

Haha exactly, that's the difficulty! You're taught these toilet habits at a young age and it's not something that adults discuss, so if you grew up in a culture without a bidet, it comes across as a baffling fixture.

You only need a regular towel to dry off, since now you're actually clean instead of just smearing poop around until the paper kind of looks clean. Unless of course you have microscopic eyesight.

Hold up. Clean doesn't mean sanitized. You don't want a regular towel with fecal bacteria sitting around.

Yes, this is how I feel about it as well, but apparently it's a norm. Individuals will have their own unshared bidet towel in the bathroom that they'll use afterwards.

The bum guns are advertised on Amazon, for washing diapers! lol.

Agreed, you don't just throw the towel up on the rack and call it a day. Usually you throw it in the wash or wash it out with soap when you are done. But at least your bum is a lot cleaner than smearing poop all around it with TP.

Why not use soap?

Assuming you have a shower with the usual detachable shower head, you could always test the experience in there.

Set the shower to the narrow/high pressure flow, and reduce the water supply so it's less "massage" and more like "watering the garden".

They shoot in one direction, you aim your body at them/seat hover.

Wait a few seconds to let the dripping stop then use regular Toilet Paper to dab dry. Don't use a re-usable towel like the other commentator suggested, gross.

Thanks for the very clear reply. I have a bidet, use it every time I poop, but most of the time my poop leaves enough sticky residue that just spraying won't clean me. I wipe with TP, then spray with water, then wipe dry. I'm cleaner than without the bidet, but it isn't saving me paper.

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