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Comment by hathawsh | Hacker News Reader

I wonder if anyone has advice for someone like me who thinks writing a journal is probably a good idea, but I rarely write because I can hardly bear to read what I've written. I always want to edit it for clarity or just throw it out because I don't like it. I've been able to overcome my perfectionism in a few areas of life, but not this one. I like to read other people's words, but rarely my own.

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I have similar tendencies. What changed for me was using journaling to understand and cope with my emotions during a very difficult time in life. By writing out my thoughts they were more complete and I could better asses them so it helped calm racing thoughts and patterns of rumination.

Ive come to enjoy the process materializing my thoughts into something concrete, as a thought isn't really fully formed until you write, speak, or type ot. I continue the practice as part of my morning routine and when I read at night.

I don't review what I've written or share it or have any plans to make a blog or something. I just use journaling to enjoyably process my thoughts.

Here's a Vim alias I used when I first started writing, to automatically start me off on an empty page so I didn't have to read my stupid words from last time (or trigger associations that drove out what I wanted to write this time).

    alias j='vim -c 'normal G' -c 'r !date' -c 'normal zto' -c startinsert journal.txt'

I link this all the time, but my system is almost the same!

https://github.com/jodavaho/bashlog

One command `log`, keeps files with YYYY-MM-DD.md and helps sync to github. I often edit my day's words, but don't much go back. When I do want to go back, I can just use `log 3/4/19` or `log yesterday`

Then don't read what you write, keep turning to the next page. It's fine also to throw away what you write, until you think something is good enough to keep.

One reason for not throwing them away is: once you get a little bit better you can see the past as the past and see how much you have improved in contrast rather than identifying what you think is bad with "yourself". If you think you are not good enough, say this: you are not good enough "yet". The yet is very important. Know that you will improve. It's fine to improve. To be able to improve you need to accept that you are imperfect.

This exercise is a wonderful opportunity to not get so attached to impermanent things.

Eventually your writing will get good enough.

You never have to read your own journal. The important thing, now and since journaling began, is to make sure no one ELSE can read your journal.

I've struggled with wanting to write for the past couple of years. The biggest aspect that allowed me to get started was realizing I don't need to write for an audience. After that realization, I soon discovered:

1. I like to write because it's therapeutic, and 2. I don't do it for others to read, only myself

To touch on the second point, rarely do I go back and read my own work. I don't think it's necessary outside the initial editing/revising for grammar mistakes. Personally, I'm just happy to be able to create something as opposed to always consuming other media.

I kept a journal for a few years before I started reading what I had written. The reason I didn't read what I was writing was the same as yours. I did eventually start forcing myself to read what I was writing, though, and even though it can feel uncomfortable or embarrassing, I think it has had a profound effect.

I actually identified certain behavior patterns in my life by reading my journal, that I was not explicitly aware of when I was writing those entries. Depending on the length of your entries, you could read months or weeks of entries in one go, and have a bird's eye view of your own time that you would never get otherwise. You might also get some insight into your own perception of time; one thing I noticed is that events that happened around 2-3 days ago feel like they "just happened", to me, while events ~4-5 days ago feel much further in the past, and I am more likely not to have the experiences of those days at the front of my mind.

tl;dr: If you power through the discomfort and read your own writing, the result might be interesting enough to offset the discomfort.

You don't have to read your journals if you don't want to - the act of writing is the most important part.

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