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Because the number of instagram followers says so much about emotional maturity and mental stability.

Instagram influencer, paragons of healthy behaviors.

Using another app such as Instagram as gatekeeper seems to make a value judgement about people not interested in the gatekeeping app’s business proposition.

using instragram followers as a measurement of datability feels incredibly dystopian

Unless you used it as an inverse correlation. +15% if you're not on Instagram at all.

I wonder if having a public invitation tree like lobste.rs [ https://lobste.rs/about#invitations ] would help?

That way people would be less likely to give referrals to people they didn't know well - as you are vouching for them, and it makes it easier to identify sets of bad actors.