I invented a new methodology called "scattered paperwork"...

All you have to do is type all of your project documentation in MS Excel, print it out, and then throw it all over the place... Then Developers can simply pick what's on top and meet for 23 minutes (once every 2 years) to discuss their emotions... It's been a very productive decade for us so far.

If only. I was surrounded by it for the last decade and it works as badly as expected.

My cousin's boyfriend's sister went up to the waterfall, and when they found her body 12 months later--after delivery phase--she had been completely burned out from the inside. And there was this thing... that nobody wanted, that didn't work right, just sitting there next to her. Nobody wanted to touch it. So some guys from the federal government came and picked it up with tongs, and said they'd put it in the Source Control Repository facility out in New Mexico, so it couldn't hurt anybody else.

Waterfall is project management the speaker doesn't like.