Which is usually a failure of communication. The whole "just trust us" bit doesn't work, and it takes real work to build a rapport with your stakeholders to earn "blind" trust, which is what most people are really asking for when they say "just trust us". This almost never happens, unless people have been working with each other for many years.
> then nitpick that "well that's not needed"
First, ask questions. Find out why they're willing to put energy into this - most people are not wasteful when they push back on things (most). Maybe their boss is riding their ass, and it's CYA. Maybe they're just stating a preference, so I'll ask questions to make this explicit ("So you just prefer it this way? No data? No customer feedback? Your boss didn't ask?").
Second, socialize things early and often. Tell people weeks, months, quarters in advance about some technical debt you're eventually going to get around to paying off. This gives people time to vent, challenge things, or say they're stupid. Use this time to refine your story, and get better at telling it in a way that gets the least resistance (don't need support, just fewer detractors).
Sometimes that "socializing" is complaining about a shared frustration. "Ugh, System X gobbled up Sharon's purchase order again and she has to spend another two hours after working salvaging things. Really wish they'd let us spend time fixing this, but you know how it goes."
By the time I've scheduled a meeting with stakeholders to discuss something (especially something I know will be difficult for them to see value in), I make sure I've individually discussed it with everyone in the room. When they see less disagreement between each other, there's less negative energy to build off. There may not be any positive energy, but that's much easier to deal with.
Today most of business side has simply become too incompetent to be able to complete a dialogue with devs. Same goes for dev side, but is nothing new.
> Today most of business side has simply become too incompetent to be able to complete a dialogue with devs
This is an example, and IMO discredits most of anything else you may be trying to say.
This is interesting and will take some introspection, but perhaps I can improve these situations by fostering better communication. Thanks for taking the time to respond.