Ask HN: Is what I'm about to do a bad idea?

I would definitely not lie about it as other people here have recommended. I would not burn a bridge with your current employer either. Here's my take on things: If the startup in SF wants you, and if they are WORTH working for, then they will accommodate a schedule change, recognizing it's happening very fast and you have other obligations. In fact, they should respect you for saying -- Hey, I don't really love my job, but I've made a commitment for Monday and don't want to leave them hanging. Can I fly out over the weekend or on Tuesday or Wednesday?

If they aren't willing to work with you on this, then you need to look for something else -- IMHO!

Never burn a bridge. Always be honest. It's a small world and it's not worth it. Not only does it affect the way other people think about you, it affects the way you think about yourself. Build character one step at a time, not the reverse.

Well stated. I'll continue to think about this.

I agree... they really should respect you for saying that you made the commitment and are a person who follows through on your commitments. They shouldn't want someone who doesn't, because you could be liable to do the same to them.

The following are my thoughts, and contains my advice.

Always be honest. If you are caught out in a lie people will forever wonder if they can trust you. That's not a good place to be.

Secondly, if the people in your office really do read HN then they already know who they are, and now probably know who you are.

Thirdly, you should fulfil your obligations. If you are expected to do the demo then you should either bring someone else up to speed to stand in for you, or you should stay and do the demo.

Explain to the guys in SF. Explain that it's important to you to be honest and to meet your obligations. Say that you are already obliged to do the demo, but you would be very pleased to come out as soon as it's done.

What reputation do you want? If you tell the SF guys that you are meeting an obligation, and that to do so is your style and your ethic, that can hardly make them want you less.

And in my book - always be honest.

Finally, one of my programmers once came to tell me he needed some time off for an interview. I made space for him, covered for him, and made it clear that I'd be sorry to see him go. I chatted with him to find out why he was unhappy, and eventually we agreed that he wasn't really a good fit for his job with us. We couldn't find anything that would fit better, so I helped him get a position he wanted more. I could honestly tell the other company that I respected his honesty and integrity, and was genuinely sorry to see him more on, but it was best for him.

No bridges burned, good karma all round.

What ever you do, make sure it matches the image you want to have of yourself.

+1 for the reschedule in San Francisco.

Common experience is that once an employer knows you're stepping out and interviewing, you're already out. Especially if you haven't informed them you're looking, or at least asked them basic questions like: "I'm feeling limited in my role, do you have any ideas of how I can expand responsibility or learn new X"? If it's about money, bring that up and see what they say.

People can feel very betrayed when someone they like or value departs or plays games, for good reason, since obviously you don't value your current opportunity as much as your new one. Think of it like an intimate relationship. Especially in such a small company where you represent over 14% of the work force.

Interviewing while employed is something we'll all have to do once or more in our careers (especially in tech). Being graceful and honorable is fine, but at the end of the day, if you try and live a righteous life, you're going to find out that most people don't act like that. Especially when they feel betrayed.

However. Doing the right thing and protecting yourself does not give you the right to discharge your responsibilities. Certainly not something I would look for in a new hire.

If you haven't done so yet, explain, or even forward a sanitized agenda from Monday's meeting. Explain you can't make it as desired (Monday is a holiday I think), let your employers know you need personal time off after the demo and handle things like an adult.

As others have said several times, the new company will wait a day or two for you.

Your best bet is to knock the demo out of the park, show your value to your current employer and take the new offer with pride. You treat your old employer right when you run out of town to San Francisco, the better chance you'll have a reference or a job back there if things don't work out here.

Another thing to keep in mind if you're relatively new and only worked in small companies. In such a small setting, in such a lowered cost of living location like (anywhere in) Texas, you'll have a lot more work-habit related freedoms than in a larger organization.

Seems like you already made your decision, and the best thing would be to be honest with your current employer. Go to SF where you feel your calling is, BUT, ensure that the demo could be handled by your peers. Let them know of your plans and that this is some opportunity which you would not want to miss. If the company totally cares for your well-being, they should (and I assume) would understand.

Sounds like a great opportunity to test your potential employer. Tell them that you must do a demo and ask for advice. If they will say "OK, do the demo first" then just do the demo and take the offer. But if they will insist on the interview on the demo day....then you should think twice, because it means they do not appreciate employee loyalty. A bad sign. Nevertheless, good luck!

I think that you should fulfill your obligation at your current company and do the demo. The company you are interviewing with will understand your situation if they are professional enough. Go out strong and do the right thing, while maintaining your network and reputation. My two cents.

To me: yes, it sounds like a bad plan.

Do you really think 'and, make a job offer I am assuming / hoping' is sufficient grounds to burn the ship you are on?

Are you convinced that postponing that meeting a day or even a week could cost you the opportunity of that new job?

Honestly? Yes, I am anxious to jump at the opportunity.

No, I'm not convinced about that, but in terms of myself and my future, I do not want to postpone this interview. I value the opportunity infinitely more than I value this current job of mine. I could go into the tons of reasons why my current job is depressing, but I don't think there's enough time. haha

Why not just explain your situation to the company interviewing you, and ask for a delay? If they say no, then that's a warning sign anyway, and if they say yes, you do the right thing and learn that they care about the same.

A scheduled demo for an out of town client takes precedence in my book. It's not just a weekly report. Schedule your interview in a way which does not fuck over your current team.

why can't you postpone the travel for a few days? tell them you have some responsibilities you couldn't manage to get out of on the short term but still are very interested.

if they're looking for you specifically and not just a warm body, they should understand. if they're just looking for a warm body, i'd think twice about the process.

Just do it. You'll probably burn a bridge but it doesn't sound like you're thrilled at your current position.

Reschedule the interview at the new company. Lie to make it sound as though you have no other choice.

Why is this bad advice?

because lying will get you no where except in a very deep hole with no means of escape?

I don't see how that can be true. It's perfectly possible to benefit from lying.

why lie?

tell as it is. they're testing your willingness to work for them. you test them: how will they value you

His first mistake was accepting the initial invite. He should have specified that he wasn't available that day and asked to do it another. He didn't though, so either got to lie and say that something new has come up which can't be avoided, or tell the truth and explain that he double booked himself, which might make him look a little silly.

@SeekingAdvice01, auditors, 7 men, TX. i think they already know :)

i know a guy who works for two major software companies (as a presales analyst or something) and they don't know it.

just a story

Go to SF. Look, there's 6 other people in your current office. Assuming that your software project is ready, you have a 4 days (counting today) to bring someone else up to speed on it. Make an excuse, call in sick, or just tell the truth.

Also, don't forget about doing both. Is there some reason you can't VPN into your office from SF and give the demo virtually?

I'm just not sure any excuse as to why I couldn't be at the office for this would be believable.

This isn't a final version demo, either. It's just a display of our progress. So, if I were to go interview on Monday, I imagine they'd just not have the demo meeting.

Just tell the truth. Have a meeting with your boss, thank him for the opportunities and just explain that this is your dream job.

I was in the same situation half a year ago, and I'm 100% glad I was totally honest about it. And like others have said, you don't want to burn down bridges - you never know when old business contacts may come in handy.