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Comment by davidw | Hacker News Reader

Thanks for those! It just so happens we're deciding right now whether to move our daughter into a school with a better TAG program, but it'd mean starting 7th grade in a new school.

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As someone who moved nearly every year as a kid, most of the problem comes from entering school mid-year. Friendships and routines are cemented, and unless you have well developed social skills (I don’t), it’s incredibly hard to fit in and not feel awkward or left out.

Moving before the school year starts isn’t as bad. Half the kids in class don’t know each other and it’s a great chance to start fresh. You don’t really feel left out at as much.

This is a really hard call. My parents moved to a different district at about that time, and it quite beneficial overall for me. But, I wasn't really leaving many friends behind, so that was less of a question.

As an adult, I somewhat accidentally ended up moving step-kids (a bit older), and I deeply regret it. They had far better educational/career opportunities in the new place, but I think they probably would have ended up happier hanging out with their goofball/stoner friends for a few more years.

How does your daughter feel about it? It's probably good to involve her in the conversation too

'We' includes her, of course.

I put on a happy face when my parents asked if I wanted to move away in the 6th grade. I was a 'good kid' and didn't want to say no. But I didn't want to move, and moving was a complete wreck emotionally for me.

So be cautious. How likely is she to say 'no' if she knows that you want her to say 'yes'?

Heh, not a risk in this case.

I don't mean to suggest that moving is never the right decision, but yes those results personally give me pause in whether it'd a good idea to move. Also it seems in general more thought is needed around what can be done to help kids with the transition when moving.

Especially if middle school starts in 7th grade rather than 6th, this is the perfect time to change. In most cases middle schools mix in multiple elementary schools, so the kids are all making new connections anyway.

I moved to a better school for grade 7, and it really helped me, but I wasn't having a great time at the old one.

Are TAG programs a big thing in middle school? At the schools I went to TAG programs in elementary school automatically tracked you into the honors classes in middle school and then high school, but a lot of kids who weren't in TAG funneled into honors any way.

When I went to school, they were an elementary school thing. Apparently they go through middle school now; after that high school has a enough tracks to not need it, I guess. AP classes and such.

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