Sometimes that means I'm not using a mechanism in Rails that does exactly what I want, thereby making life harder for myself. Sometimes that means that means I want something different than the use-case Rails is optimized for. This is still possible, but more complicated. In the balance, this has meant that easy things are easy and hard things are hard.
If it is hard to do something easy, you are probably doing it wrong. Working through some up-to-date Rails tutorials/guides will likely make your life much easier. You still might not like it, but you'll be working with it instead of against it.
Simple advice since you need results: Have your bosses hire an experienced Rails hacker for 1-2 days to come in and pair with you until you're over the initial learning curve. Any of the large shops (including my old one, Hashrocket) should provide this service for you if you insist on it. Won't cost more than a couple thousand bucks at most, less if you find an independent willing to be nice with you.
I wouldn't want to be a complete Rails noob right now -- the first steps up that learning curve are brutal. However, once you have it down there's still nothing else that comes close to the productivity you get.
In fact, I'm going to tweet a link to this in case people that follow me want to volunteer to help you.
If all you need is a CRUD app such as Basecamp and the other products from 37signals, Rails is a no-brainer and you'll be already half-way done.
If you need something more or something different, you better off looking deep in the pool of plugins, because if they don't have the answers, you'll need many hours to break the convention and tweak to your requirements.
The essay-like queries is a code smell, by the way, and to me it suggests you're underutilizing Active Record scopes.
"Skinny controller, fat model" is not as easy as it sounds.
In addition, does the rails model fit your needs? Rails is there to be able to roll out a clean, well structured, well tested CRUD application - it's certainly not a "I win" button.
I'd wager that if you find you're using essay-like queries, either you've missed a trick, or rails isn't a great fit for your application.
Rails has been the web framework of choice for ruby for some years now and will continue to be but thats not to say its the best tool for every job. Sometimes you have to peel it all back. Thats where sinatra is brilliant. Sinatra is becoming more mature and will continue to pick up steam.
For ruby you can go with Rails + Sinatra, for python you can try out Django + Flask for example.
Probably more applicable is Ruby or Python: http://www.quora.com/If-I-only-have-time-to-learn-Python-or-...
Genuinely want to know so I don't make this 'mistake' again if it is in fact bad form.
I'd say any framework has a "steep" learning curve, after which things just become easier and easier.
A problem I often see is that a lot of people try to learn Ruby through Rails; And while that may work for some basics, a lot of things are still going to be "magic" until you understand Ruby itself a little better.
What? My mother learned rails (really, she's a web developer)!
Doesn't anyone develop on C any more?