Ask HN: How did you improve your discipline/self control | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How did you improve your discipline/self control

4 pointsthickice2 comments

I have good ideas for side projects and in general want to keep myself primed by solving algorithmic problems (I am an individual contributor with 15+ years exp and no plans to move to management roles).

But I struggle with self control and discipline. I come home on a Friday evening and end up binge watching or do unproductive/unnecessary things online till like 3 or 4 AM and screw up the next day as well. With other kids/family activities I end up no time at all to improve my skills.

I really want to improve my self control and discipline to avoid doing this, but it has been a struggle. If you have had similar problem and overcame it would really appreciate if you can share some tips.

Your actions, dictated by your subconscious, are at odds with what your conscious mind thinks is best.

To bring the two into alignment, something needs to be reframed. You can either convince your subconscious that the current behavior is detrimental, or preferably, just how beneficial the alternate, desired behavior will be.

Hypnotherapy, self-hypnosis and NLP are probably the best ways to accomplish that.

When I quit a 2-pack-a-day habit 24 years ago, it wasn't through "self-control and discipline" but by reframing self-image from "smoker" to "non-smoker." The difference between "I will not smoke this cigarette right now" and "I am a non-smoker" maybe doesn't seem like a lot, but the difference between an action and a self-identification is significant.

That’s how I quit too. But I’m convinced this came at a price- the time spent under cognitive dissonance has impacted my self confidence and self worth a non-negligible amount. To counteract this, I followed the same strategy and framed myself as “I’m a very confident person,” but overcompensated by being an objective asshole.

Today, I would still consider myself an asshole in certain situations, but that’s precisely the thing about being an asshole- it’s binary and not allowed to be subjected to the disclaimer “* asshole only in certain situations.” I’m still working on that.

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