Regarding salary, I think I didn't choose my employers well. I live in a large northeastern metropolitan area, and people with my comparable skills make upwards of $100k (in fact, someone who was interviewing to be my replacement when I left my old job wanted twice what I was making).
A developer with 10 years of experience should be able to command upwards of 150k/yr in NYC even at a small startup; somewhat less in a smaller city in the northeast; somewhat more at a larger company.
Also note that salaries listed on Glassdoor and such tend to be below market for current hires because salaries have been inflating so quickly that someone hired 3 years ago is making way less than someone hired for the same role today.