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Comment by ryugarden | Hacker News Reader

Learn how to make more friends. Communicate. Learn how to talk with people, how to be adaptive and contextual.

Learn about yourself as much as you can, either via introspection or from other people. Learn what your values are, and what makes them satisfied. "You are your own ally, when you make yourself an enemy even though you should trust yourself, you become the victim hit the hardest".

Learn agency. Remember that you are a person, and you can take initiative.

Learn that another person's behavior toward you is just a reflection of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person.

Learn to genuinely tell people that you love them. People are precious.

Last of all, actually learn how to use knowledge of all of the above in your situation.

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I've come to believe that introspection is the one true real superpower.

Here is an exercise for the reader. Every year on your birthday, write down what you "know" to be true about life, work, love, politics, money, meaning, happiness, environment, etc. and then seal it. Now read what you wrote last year and see how dumb you used to be.

Right now I’m completing an “In My 20’s” document tracking numbers of big things (is: how many countries visited, music festivals attended, pieces of furniture built, jobs had, dollars saved, etc), feelings, observations, lessons and questions.

It’s pretty powerful. I can track my progress, see the speedbumps, but I think the biggest thing is that despite having all this data, it is not predictive.

I have zero idea what my thirties will look like. Will my goals and priorities change? If so, in what direction and how much?

The biggest takeaway for me in this process is really wrapping my head around how I have no control over tomorrow, only the actions I take today, and that whatever happens, that too shall pass.

I'm interested in this. Do you have a template?

I made this myself, feel free to provide any feedback or suggestions!

https://drive.google.com/open?id=13IHeFemwCxMYvpbadUM5d_8fLV...

This comment, along with another on this thread and finally by a few statements from a friend made me want to pursue writing a server app to help with this endeavor. I always say Ok I'm going to start writing and introspecting on my life, but always quit shortly thereafter. My plan is to have a server run cron jobs to text / email me to help facilitate this writing and introspection

I don't think it's good to regard it as "how dumb you were". I used to do something similar to this but this screwed me up a bit mentally, leading to a big lack of confidence.

How can I be confident or feel good about my decision if I am currently "dumb"?

You're not dumb if you make the best choices you can with the information you have at the time.

Sorry, I mean "dumb" in jest. The point is that introspection allows you to see what you knew based on what was available and what was short sighted and biased. I think that taking the time to consider decisions or positions at all is a huge step forward.

> Learn how to make more friends.

I've heard a lot lately about how having fewer, closer friends is better. Just an alternate viewpoint to consider.

Care to elaborate on "learn agency" for a non-native English speaker?

I was referring to this twitter thread: https://twitter.com/george__mack/status/1068238562443841538

Thanks for the link! Glad I asked.

Love the positivity and orientation in soft skills in this one.

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