I'm not brilliant. I guess my impression of being a jerk comes from some women calling me that when fighting about relationships, and from the way some other people treated me as if I deserved bad treatment. I thought why are they treating me like that? Oh I just must be a jerk, that's why they're acting like I deserve this. finally it's my answer to why I've been rejected at final interview stage many times despite having good (not brilliant) relationship and engineering skills. I knocked back a few jobs because I didn't like the tooling, but mostly I applied to hundreds, got interviews with 10% and rejected by most at interview or coding task stage. so I guess the more complete picture might be I'm a jerk with poor engineering skills.

Thanks tho for being the one person questioning the assumption, I appreciate that.