- Drop all timelines for recovery.
You didn't go into burnout overnight, so you're not coming out of it overnight. I saw the warning signs of my "batteries" getting low in early 2009, but I kept pressing on at full speed because I wanted to get ahead of the workload, and kept hoping that relief would come.
The relief didn't come, the workload increased, and my mind essentially shut down. I felt like a zombie some days -- a zombie too down to even chase after brains.
- Change your scenery.
I tried to cheat by doing all the little things and hoping for immediate results.
There were days I'd spend 8-10 hours biking through Manhattan and Brooklyn. But my mind would wander back to work ("I'm only X blocks from work, I wonder if building security will let me bring my bike through the lobby, so I can work on this bit of code that'd improve operations... wait, what the hell am I saying?")
I moved from one apartment to another. Granted, certain things about my original apartment (and neighborhood) were annoying me, but not as much as I thought they were. The move helped put me closer to where I wanted to be mentally, but there was still a long way to go.
I resigned from my job in June 2010, even though we both wanted to make it work. I was just too far into the abyss. I considered a sabbatical, but I wasn't sure that I'd be willing to return at the end (plus there was word that someone else had did the same -- left and didn't return, so I told myself that my 1-year request would probably be denied).
I spent the next two months throwing parties, going to parties, catching music acts, traveling to visit friends and family, and doing new and old things (photography, skydiving, sailing, etc).
I didn't set a travel itinerary or any schedule whatsoever -- I would just randomly look at air/bus/rail fares and weather forecasts, say "that seems reasonable", and book my ticket.
- Don't work during your recovery.
During my traveling downtime, I'd do some consulting work for a few clients. I enjoyed working with most of them, but out of the latter bunch, there was one over-demanding client that threw all of it into chaos.
In my burned out state, I desperately tried to make it work with this client ("if I just try harder..."), but no, it just reversed any progress I had made at this point. And affected the other clients I really liked.
- Don't beat yourself up.
I had all the same fears you currently have, and the biggest one was not having a plan. I felt like crap that I let myself deteriorate to this state, and that it was affecting people around me.
Eventually I made one plan that I'd stick to no matter what: to get better.
- Keep at it.
In September 2010, I legitimately started feeling better and began at a new job, but I continued to travel (weekends, 3 day weekends, holidays). Kept doing the things that made me happy, and my recovery kept progressing.
With this new job, I made a rule of not working at home -- only in the office, except for emergencies, until I could find a better balance. Sometimes, I felt like I was coming close to max capacity, so I'd ease off the throttle. Just being aware of what your limits are is a big win.
For a while I was starting to hate tech, and consider my options as a farm or construction worker (a la "Office Space"). But I'm back to twiddling knobs and some hacking -- I've probably written more code in the last two months than I have in the last year.
Here I am in February 2011, and I'm in the tail end of this thing. To put a number on it, I'm probably at 95% and as long as I keep at it, I'll be better than ever.
* The most important thing out of this is you have to take the time out to recover. You cannot try to multi-task/juggle/whatever because you will fall right back into the rut you were climbing out of. *
Hopefully this helps you all shake off some rust, and better yet, avoid the dark road I went down for almost two years.