> but the energy seems to evaporate once I get down in front of my keyboard again.

The internet is a great tool to avoid self-reflection.

Generally, if something saps your energy whenever you use it, that's a good sign to use it less.

> I think my mindset is holding me back.

Only one person can change this, and it ain't any of us on HN :)

> It's almost like I would be doing with the expectation that this would "fix" me, and that anything short of that would be a waste.

Try letting go of this expectation - they just set you up for failure. Go get away from your keyboard (travel) and enjoy yourself, and trust that perspective and insight will come.