Oddly I get the bit about sleep deprivation. It can be oddly effective. I also sometimes do more effective work when I have a cold/flu as well.
Ugh, this. So many lost days, weeks, months to ADHD. Just trying to keep up. Can't focus for a day? There goes the weekend. Shame, fear of losing my job, fear of work piling up - all of it. I have to make up for it at some point.
The answer was "No". His response was "well, then what's the problem?"
The longer answer from me should have been "no, but keeping up appearances requires Herculian effort, and I pay a tremendous emotional and personal cost, I am distant from my wife and 2 kids, and at night time, the anxiety is enough to materialize a cold ball of steel in the pit of stomach".
I managed to get a diagnosis anyway, and my psychiatrist got me started on Ritalin, and then onto Concerta (I take Vyvanse now). The difference was like flipping a switch. My work output improved out of sight, I stopped being a zombie at night time because I didn't have to go through a cycle of wake up -> work -> burnout -> sleep -> recover every day, and I'm earning more than twice what I was at the time of my diagnosis, and I don't think any of that would have been possible if I'd remained in the same situation.
What I've learned over the years is that the problems associated with ADHD don't "go away" with medication, they just become more manageable, and knowing how my brain works both on and off medication has been TREMENDOUS tool for increasing self-awareness and understanding that the anxiety/procrastination/apathy etc is a function of neurochemistry, and not a harbinger of doom or destruction.
Keep pushing to at least get a trial run with the medication and seeing if it helps you. Also if your doctor is seriously ignoring your concerns, consider looking for a better doctor. People often place way too much confidence in their doctors and stick with crappy doctors who don't make efforts to resolve their patients concerns.
Best of luck finding something that helps you get away from those coping mechanisms.
Note: This post is a little rambly since I am typing this up while doing something else but I felt the need to comment.