Just a point of clarification that I found helpful - the patches offered to correct soundness problems, in this case, didn’t significantly impact performance. Your hypothetical still stands, but it’s not necessarily a huge trade off.
People should be allowed to be free of harassment. I think everyone would have been better off in this case if the individuals who were so concerned about the unnecessary safety, forked Actix and had a SafeActix, that was maintained without the usage they were concerned about.
If the maintainer isn’t going to accept your patches, then it’s time to decide how to move forward without needing to resort to harassment.